


Here's To A New Year

by Thenwhatyoudoinghere



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Happy Ending, Holidays, M/M, Smut, regular gallavich Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-12 22:33:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 37,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9093700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thenwhatyoudoinghere/pseuds/Thenwhatyoudoinghere
Summary: Ian goes to his best friend Mandy's cabin for New Years, just like the past five years. It is already awkward enough that his ex is there but it gets 10 times worst when Mandy's dick head of a brother and douchebag friends all turn up. There has always been a lot of angry tension between Ian and Mickey. Wait. Is it anger?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ride4812](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ride4812/gifts).



> This is a one shot. My first attempt at one. When I enter a world I like I do struggle not to want to keep going. So forgive me if a chapter 2 or 3 or 4 or 10 of this fic happens to accidentally happen. :) 
> 
> Anyway - for now its a one shot. wanted something sappy and fluffy for the holidays! Hope you enjoy it.

'How's the room bitch?' Mandy said leaning in the doorway.  Ian smiled to himself as he sat up in the bed.

 

'It will do' he said and Mandy crossed her arms.  

  
 'Would you prefer the master suite your highness?'    Ian smirked and raised a brow and Mandy just shook her head. 'We’re having drinks downstairs. Hurry your ass' and she disappeared out of the room.  

  
 Ian had been dreading this trip for the last six months. For the past five years he had been going to the same cabin with the same people for New Year’s Eve. It was usually something he looked forward to. But not this year. The last thing you want to do on New Year’s Eve is spend it with your ex-boyfriend and your shared friends. But here Ian was doing just that. He had done everything he could to avoid coming but Mandy wasn’t having any of it. He had been best friends with her since his first day at college. She quickly helped him get a job working with her at her Dad's company and they had never really looked back.    

  
Mandy had grown up in and out of the Southside. Her dad was a more 'respectable' man now but still had his dealing in the south side. That is where the family had started out. So the Milkovich’s had money, but still buckets full of the Southside charm that made her and Ian bond in a second. She invited him every year to their family's ski cabin in Whistler and Ian indulged once a year on the finer things in life. Mandy had taught him it was ok to do that every now and then. And now that he had a college degree under his belt, a good job, some savings and a life he was proud of, he had a feeling he sort of deserved it.  

  
 Mandy had introduced him to Dean two years ago and they had got on instantly. It was the kind of stable happy relationship that Ian thought only existed on TV. And it had lasted a good couple of years. They were the couple everyone envied, the couple everyone thought had everything sussed. And so had Ian thought so for a long time.

 

That is until he started to feel suffocated by the whole thing. Dean was nice. Like so fucking nice. And kind and sweet. And Ian would or couldn’t say a bad word about him but he couldn’t help but get bored after a few years. The stability of it all. He kind of wanted a thrill. He knew how fucked up that made him and he hated himself for it. But it also made him hate Dean. Hate the perfect way he did everything thing. How tidy their home was. How organised every little thing was.    He knew that it wasn’t fair to stay with the guy when he felt that way, so he had broken up with him in just over five months ago.

  
The problem was they had built a life together. They had the same friends. Went everywhere together. Including the cabin at New Year’s. And that is exactly why Ian thought he shouldn't go. He had been the one to end things and he should therefore be the one to suffer. Mandy had nagged and begged for him to come anyway. Promising him he was just as much a part of the group as Dean. But Ian couldn’t do it. He wasn't that guy. He wasn't a dick.    

His mind quickly started to change however when Dean started to act out. And not in a reasonable heartbroken sort of way. Ian started to see a side of him that he didn’t like. A side of Dean that made him realise he had made the best decision of his life.

 

Dean was spiteful and vengeful and flat out mean. Dean had told the others about Ian's deepest darkest secrets, blamed the breakup on Ian being crazy and unstable. Ian was open about his bi polar. Well as open as you need to be. But that didn’t mean he wanted everyone to know about the mistakes his made in the past because of it. His insecurities about it. The way he has to alter his meds every now and then to stop manias or depressions hitting. Ian wasn't perfect, probably never would be but he had this shit under control.

 

Dean on the other hand had told everyone he had had enough of Ian's bat shit crazy behaviour and that he was a pill-popping nightmare. Something Ian thought was holy unfair. Plus on top of that, he started to realise that all the organising and order he got from Dean had actually just been a way for him to control Ian. He was well shot of the guy.    So after a few drunken rants to Mandy and a number of back and forthing, Ian had decided he was not going to sit at home on his own to spare the feelings of that prick and found himself at the cabin.

 

He got up from the bed and finally made his way down stairs where everyone was sat around on the sofas of the large lounge area drinking wine. Ian quickly scanned the room for Mandy who patted the sofa next to her. Ian sat down and realising this had been a huge mistake when he saw Dean staring daggers at him across the other side of the room.  

  
 'Here you go' Mandy said handing Ian a glass of wine 'Down it if you need to' she whispered 'there’s plenty' she finished and handed the glass to Ian. He quickly glugged at it hoping to numb some of the nerves he was feeling.  

  
 'Should you be drinking?' A voice said and Ian’s eyes flashed up knowing exactly who had spoken.  

  
 'He’s fine' Mandy cut in, being not so subtle about the fact she was totally on Ian's side about this whole thing.  

  
 'I'm just looking out for everyone else. You know how he can get' Dean finished and Ian's closed his eyes and tried to calm himself.  

  
 'Oh darling, you an angry drunk?' a sing song voice next to him said and he turned to see a new face in the group. One of the guy’s new girlfriend’s Jesse. 'My daddy always punches the wall or one of my uncles before passing out after he’s had one too many' she chuckled and patted his arm. 'Though you seem real friendly, so I’m sure you’ll be fine' she smiled and cheers’d her glass with Ian’s.  

  
 'Yeah. I know my limits' Ian said with a smile and hoping this would all be over soon.  

  
 'See' she said turning to Dean with the most innocent of intentions 'he'll be fine.'  

  
 'He’s not an angry drunk sweetie. He’s bi polar’ Dean said, a smug look on his face. Jesse's big doe eyes opened even wider than they were before and looked awkwardly between the two men.  

  
 'Fuck you' Ian said shaking his head at his ex's blatant antagonism.

   
 'I’m not the one so pumped full of drugs I get trashed off one beer.

Someone has to keep an eye on you' Dean said and the room was silent now. The whole group wondering what to do.  

  
 Mandy leaned forward in her chair. 'Well that person ain’t you anymore is it? So mind your fucking business and shut the fuck up yeah?' She turned to look at Jesse 'Don’t mind Dean. He got his panties in a twist and loves to cause drama.' Mandy sliced and received a huge grin from Jesse. 'Any way' Mandy said standing up. 'This is a party isnt it?' she turned the music up and received a few cheers from the group.

 

***  
  

Ian made his way out of the bathroom. He had spent more time than necessary in there just looking through the cabinets and splashing water on his face more times that would ever be necessary, but he was avoiding returning to the group of now drunk people and knew it was rude to just disappear off to bed. He heard Mandy's loud shouts and inhaled deeply hoping that she hadn't had one drink too many and gone for Dean again. But Ian's heart sank further when he heard the other voice.

    
'Calm your tits'

  
'You know I come here every New Year' Mandy screeched. 

 

'So fucking what. Now I'm here too'

  
'But it's my friends. My weekend'

  
'Not my fucking problem' the guy said.  

   
Mickey Fucking Milkovich. Ian wondered if there was a higher being out there whose job it was to personally torture him. Mickey was hands down the rudest, most obnoxious, douchebag fucker Ian had ever met. It was like the concept of manners was a foreign language to him. Ian couldn’t help but wonder if he went out of his way to be as offensive as possible, just to get some kind of reaction. ‘I don’t give a fuck’ was Mickey’s mantra.    

  
The shame of it was that Ian had been really kind of excited that there was a male version of Mandy that existed and that luckily he was just as into dick as Ian was. Not that that was public knowledge to everyone. Terry Milkovich would go crazy if he knew he had a faggot for a son. But anyone who knew, knew to keep it a secret, or at least not shout it from the rooftops. The major incentive being that Mickey would personally gut you himself if you did happen to mention to anyone.

Regardless, Ian had been really into the idea of meeting his best friend’s hot, gay brother. That was until he met him. And yeah, he was hot in an obvious, dark hair, blue eyes, strong body, soft lips, I’ve got so much swag it hurts kind of way. But that wasn’t enough to distract from the horrible personality that was attached.

 

Ian and Mickey did not get on from the second they met. Mickey’s first words being that Ian looks like ‘some alien looking fucking carrot top’ before flipping Ian and Mandy off and slamming his bedroom door. 'So that’s my assface of a brother Mickey' is all Mandy had said and that all Ian needed to know. After that it had been snippy exchanges between the two of them and a lot of Ian sitting in frustrated silence whilst Mickey run that fucking mouth of his.  

  
 Ian finally made his way to the lounge and found the source of his dread. Mickey sat on the kitchen island surrounded by a 4 guys, all meatheads. Ian had seen Mickey’s little crew of Neanderthals before but none of them were worth remembering. Mickey chugged at his beer while the others started to join in the drunken crowd that was the rest of the party. Mandy was back to dancing on the table, a bottle of wine in her hand now, so was clearly over the gate crashing.  
 

Ian made his way over to Mickey to grab another beer.

  
  'Firecrotch. Didn't think you'd show' Mickey said giving Ian a sneer.

  
  'Didn't know you'd be gracing us with your presence. If I had I definitely wouldn't have bothered'

  
  'Well. I didn't think you had the balls to face that' Mickey said eyeing Dean who was glaring at Ian.

  
  'You should spend less time worrying about my balls' Ian said taking a sip of his beer.

  
  'I can see you’re in your usual good mood' Mickey said.   

  
'I can see you’re still an asshole' Ian said already fed up of this.

  
  'Fuck you. This is my house. You're only hear because you made buddy buddy with my sister'

  
  'It's called friendship Mick'

  
  'None of my friends got me top jobs in their daddy's company' Mickey spat.

  
  'You have friends?' Ian said raising an eyebrow.

  
  'Whatever Gallagher' Mickey said jumping down from the island and heading across the room to join the others.   Ian was left wondering what he was going to do. To top off what was one of the worst New Year’s so far, now he was going to have to spend it trying to avoid not just one dick head guy, but two.

 

***    


The night dragged on for Ian and he felt like maybe he shouldn't have finished that last beer. He was definitely feeling drunk now which was just enhancing his pissed off mood.

  
  'You know, you look sexy when you sulk.' Mandy said sitting down next to him in the circle she had formed to play 'I have never'. Ian rolled his eyes but gave her a quick smile. Mandy gave him a nudge. 'Ok let's start' she said.   

  
They went around the circle taking it in turns to do the usual ‘I have never’ which was clearly just a way to get people to admit to lude sex acts. On Jesse’s turn she said ‘I have never been in love’ and there was a collective eye roll. Ian and Dean looked at each other and took a discreet sip of their drinks. Ian looked away to see Mickey looking at him and swinging his can in front of him. Ian didn’t know if he had drunk but doubted it, Mickey didn’t do love. That was clear. Mickey looked away breaking the momentary awkward eye contact between the two of them.  
Finally it was Dean’s turn and Ian knew this wasn't going to work out in his favour.

  
  'I have never' Dean started and looked at Ian 'been paid for sex'   

  
The room went quiet. Everyone in the room knew that Ian used to be wild before his bipolar was diagnosed, and they knew he had been a stripper. But he had only ever told Dean about turning tricks, something he was ashamed of and had told Dean in confidence. Ian was just about to stand up and knock Dean out when Mickey opened another can, which erupted squirting beer all over Dean who jumped up and screamed.

  
  'Calm down princess' Mickey said 'it's just fucking beer'

  
  'This is a two hundred dollar shirt' Dean said.

  
  'Yeah. I don't really give a fuck' Mickey said standing up and squaring off to Dean who instantly receded from Mickey’s terrifying gaze. Ian couldn't help but smile at Dean’s cowardice and feel a tiny bit grateful for Mickey’s interruption.

    
'Ok. That's enough bro.' Mandy said. 'It's late and we are hitting the slopes tomorrow. Let's all get some sleep.'

  
  ***  


The next day had gone pretty well and for the first time this trip Ian had been enjoying himself. He welcomed the time alone, just focusing on the slopes and enjoying, what he couldn't deny, were beautiful views. He made it to the bottom of the slope to find Mickey stood in between two of his friends who were clearly arguing.

  
'Look at my fucking board you dickhead.' One said holding up the snow board that had been snapped clean in half.

  
'It was an accident' the other said using Mickey as a human shield. 'Just get a new one'

  
'Not all of us have mummy and daddy's money to just throw around man. You know how long it took me to save for this board'

  
'I got a spare board at the cabin' Mickey interrupted the two boys 'go grab it and we can sort this out when we get back.’

  
Both the boys stood down and Ian couldn't help but notice how they just did as Mickey said. Mickey patted them both on the shoulders. 'Now stop being pussies about this and shake hands. You've been best friends since like first grade for fuck sake.' Mickey said and both boys looked at each other before finally smiling and bro hugging.

  
Ian carried on down the slope, a little taken aback by the conversation he had just seen between Mickey and his friends. He didn't know Mickey was capable of calming down the guys so well and thought he was more likely to encourage or instigate a fight than calm one down. Ian had too much on his mind to allow his thoughts to stay on Mickey any longer than they already had.

  
Ian hung up his skies at the slope bar and looked around to see if he could find Mandy. He noticed jet black hair and piercing blue eyes in the shop, but quickly knew they belonged to the wrong Milkovich. Ian went to turn away but noticed Mickey was showing the guy in the store the broken snowboard from earlier and then pointing at a similar one.

  
'Ian!' He heard and turned to see Mandy. 'Where you been?' She said giving him a hug and leading him to the bar, leaving any memory of seeing Mickey behind.  
Ian and Mandy sat out in the bar watching people on the slopes and eventually some others joined. Ian was watching People on the slopes when someone on a snow board skidded up to the group. It was the guy with the broken snow board from earlier.

  
'Sup guys' he said.

  
'Nice board man' Mandy said getting up to take a look.

  
'I know right' he said a smiled spread across his face. 'Your brother has great taste' he said and Mandy raised her eyebrows. The rest of the group kept chatting but Ian kept one ear on the conversation Mandy was having. 'Don't tell anyone but I snapped my board. Fucking sucked. Cost a fucking fortune too. You know what Mick is like. Got me a new one. I told him I'd pay him back. But he told me to shut the fuck up'

  
'Yeah. That sounds about right'

  
'I don't know how to say thanks'

  
'Mickey don't care about that shit you know that.' Mandy said.

  
Ian leaned forward and instead tried to listen to the people at the table. Mickey bought his friend a new board? And apparently that wasn’t out of character. It was one of the nicest things he'd seen someone do for a long time. When you are around people with money they tend to hoard it rather than share it. Ian guessed it's because they didn't know what it was like to be without. Mandy had always been extremely generous, so maybe it wasn't so hard to believe that personality trait extended to her brother.

  
***  
 

Ian had stayed at the bar for a while longer, watching Mickey with his friends on the slopes messing around and doing tricks on their boards. Mickey was good, like seriously good and Ian may or may not have found it kind of hot.

  
In fact as he watched the blue eyed boy messing around with his friends and skilfully making his way down the slope he had to keep reminding himself this was Mickey he was watching. Mickey the guy he hated, who was a bag of dicks. Who didn't give a shit about anyone but himself. Right?

  
Ian finally hit the slopes again himself and was so caught up in his head that he missed the snowboarder approaching the ramp and before he knew it he felt a surge of pain and then there was black.

  
Ian finally came around and saw Mandy and Mickey’s face looking down at him.  


'Gallagher' he heard Mickey say and tried to sit up. 'The fuck were you playing at?'

  
'What happened?' Ian said.

  
'Mickey almost took your head off. You looked like you were totally spaced out' Mandy said.

  
'Sorry.' Ian said and sat forward with his head between his knees.

  
'Ey. Look at me' Mickey said taking Ian's face and looking in his eyes. 'You ok Gallagher?' Mickey said and Ian took in Mickey’s crystal blue eyes for a minute before the sharp pain in his head hit again.

  
'Bit dizzy' he said.

  
Mickey kept his hands on Ian's face and turned to Mandy. 'Get a medic' he said and then returned his intense gaze back to Ian 'just keep looking at me Red'

  
Ian did as he was told and found himself being somewhat grateful that Mickey was there with him in that minute.

 

 ***  


Ian had been given a once over by the doctor who said to take it easy and to call the doctor immediately if he showed any symptoms. Though Ian was feeling fine.  
Everyone was getting ready for the group dinner that evening and Ian was doing up his shirt when Mandy came in.

  
'What are you doing? She said

  
'Putting my shirt on. Kind of a nice restaurant.'

  
'No way, you are staying in.'

  
'No. I'm not' Ian said making his way down the corridor with Mandy hot on his heels. They found themselves in the kitchen where Mickey was pouring himself a drink.

  
'The doctor said you have to rest' Mandy said.  
'I'm fine.'

  
'You're not coming. You could have concussion'

  
'Oh so it's much better to leave me alone in the house is it?' Ian said and Mandy clearly realised the flaw in her plan.

  
'Fine, then I'll stay with you,' she said.

  
'No you won't. You're the host, you have to go out to dinner with your guests. You're not missing it because of me'

  
'He's right.' Mickey said and Ian and Mandy turned to look at him. 'Don't miss your night out.'

  
Ian smirked smugly at the defeat, even if he had had helped from Mickey.  
'Don't know what the fuck you're smiling at Red. My sister’s right. You got to stay in.'  
'I'm sorry. But neither of you can tell me what to fucking do.'

  
'True.' Mickey said. 'But I would maybe feel a little bit guilty if you were to drop dead cause you can't handle a slope.'

  
'He's right though Mick' Mandy interjected. He can't stay here on his own'

  
'Look.' Mickey said rubbing his hands over his face. 'I didn't want to go to this fucking dinner anyway. So I'll stay with him.'

  
'Really?' Mandy said.

  
'Sort of My fault' Mickey said.

  
'Do I get a say in this?' Ian said

  
'No. But you should have thought of that before day dreaming while sliding down the side of a mountain' Mickey said and Mandy just nodded in agreement.

  
***     


Ian was sat at one of the sofa while Mickey sat the other watching TV in silence together.

  
'You hungry?' Mickey said eventually.

  
'Sure. You want to order pizza or something.'

  
'Fine. Or I can make something if you want.'

  
'You cook?' Ian said looking at Mickey with a smug expression.

  
'I'm a fucking grownup. Of course I can cook'

  
'What would you make me?'

  
'We got stuff for pasta' Mickey said heading to the kitchen and looking in the fridge 'I could make ravioli.’

  
'From scratch?' Ian said smiling and joined Mickey at island.

  
'It's not that hard' Mickey said collecting ingredients together and getting started.

  
Ian watched him for a while, occasionally checking his phone for something to do. Before he knew it Mickey was lowering little pasta parcels into a saucepan.

  
'So, where did you learn to do that?' Ian said and Mickey turned to him.

  
'Culinary school'

  
'You went to culinary school?'

  
'You always ask so many questions?'

  
'Sorry' Ian said and went back to his phone.

  
Mickey started making a sauce and Ian had almost forgotten his question when Mickey answered.

  
'I did some night classes. My dad didn't really want me doing this shit full time. So I did what he wanted, business school, then joined his company and just sort of did the cooking on the side.' Mickey said and Ian just gave him a nod.

  
They continued to chat a bit, Mickey telling Ian a bit about cooking and before long Ian thought he might actually be enjoying himself.

  
Mickey grabbed two glasses and a bottle of wine and placed them on the island before dishing two bowls of ravioli.

  
'Wine too?' Ian said a little surprised.

  
'You can't have pasta without wine Gallagher. That's just wrong' Mickey said and poured them a glass each.

  
'Don't really eat this good in the south side' Ian said taking a bite of the ravioli and doing his best to cover the fact that it might be one of the nicest things he had ever eaten. Mickey looked at him and waiting to see what Ian thought of the food. 'Not bad' he said and Mickey shook his head.

  
'You're staying in south side?' Mickey said.

  
'I've been staying back with the family, saving up some money to get an apartment.'

  
'How come?'

  
'Well, it was Dean’s place. So when we broke up I was kind of, out on my ass.'

  
'No offence but the guy’s a fucking tool'

  
'None taken. Shame I only just realised'

  
'Why you let him away with that shit?'

  
'I guess I feel bad for hurting him. He's just lashing out' Ian said.

  
'That's bullshit' Mickey said and Ian choked a little on his food.

  
'Fuck. Say it as it is Mick'

  
'Don't I always'

  
'That's true.' Ian said and they both took a sip of their wine.

  
'For the record. You're too good for him'

  
'Excuse me? Was that a compliment?'

  
'Fuck you.' Mickey said but Ian thought he saw a glint of a smile.

  
'It was wasn't it?'

  
'Eat your fucking food' Mickey said but Ian couldn't help but smile.

  
***  


They ate and continued to talk until the bottle of wine was empty and they were both clearly more relaxed.

  
'You wore gold booty shorts?’ Mickey said not being able to contain his laughter.

  
'Yep. And I looked fucking hot' Ian said laughing himself.

  
'I bet' Mickey said winking at Ian and continuing to laugh. Ian felt a twinge of something in his stomach at Mickey's words but wrote it off to being full.

  
'You know, we've never actually spoken before'

  
'What you talking about red' Mickey said.

  
'Me and you. We usually just insult each other'

  
'True.' Mickey said and finished his wine. A drip ran onto his lip and he rubbed it away with his finger and licked at his lips. Ian felt the twinge again and knew this time it was definitely not just being full. Mickey was doing this to him. It was Mickey who was making him laugh, who he felt comfortable talking about his stripper days to, who didn't even flinched when he mentioned his bi polar. He must have had too much wine.

  
Ian was still looking at Mickey's plump lips when he saw them quirk up into a smirk. He looked up to see Mickey's face, an eyebrow quirked and Ian felt his face flush knowing how badly he had been caught out. He needed to be careful, he knew what seductive looks across dinner tables could end up leading to.

  
'I feel a bit funny.' Ian said standing up and Mickey's expression quickly turned to concern. 'I'm gonna lay down for a bit. Thanks for dinner' Ian said and excused himself from the table leaving a behind bemused Mickey.  

 

***    


Ian splashed water on his face and looked at himself in the mirror. He had no idea what was going on. How had he found himself in this situation? He needed to stop having these thoughts about Mickey. It was stupid. He was being an idiot. Plus, how could he be sure Mickey even liked him back.

  
He made his way to his room and laid on his bed trying to figure out his own mind. He just needed to stay here until everyone got back so he could make no mistakes. Apparently the guy was like some kind of force field that caused Ian to flirt unnecessarily and think about doing obscene things. He put his earphones in, turned his music up and tried to blast the thoughts from his head.

  
'What the fuck?' Ian shouted as he felt the earphones be yanked from his ears. He stood up and found a red faced Mickey in his.    

  
'What the fuck? I've been calling you for like a fucking hour.'  

  
 'It’s been fifteen minutes Mick.' Ian said standing up and leaning back onto the dresser, very aware how close Mickey was to him.    

  
'Don’t fucking do that. I thought you were dead or some shit.'  

   
'Like you’d give a fuck'   Ian said with a smile.

  
'Fuck you. I just couldn’t be assed with having to explain that shit to my sister.' 

  
 'What that you killed her best friend?' 

  
 'Who the fuck dies of a bash to the fucking head anyway.'  

  
 'I could have concussion' 

  
 'Whatever. Like something like that could take down your bulky ass.' 

  
 'I prefer ripped' Ian said with a smile and saw Mickey bite his lip trying not to smile. 'But thanks for noticing'  

  
 'Fuck off' Mickey said and allowed a small smile before turning around and starting to leave.  

  
 'You came to check on me?' Ian said 

  
 'What?'  

  
 'You were worried about me’ Ian said and it wasn’t a question.

     
'No I wasn’t. 

  
 'You so were. Oh my god Mick. That is so goddamn sweet.'  

   
‘You’re goddamn annoying' Mickey said and left the bathroom to head back down to the kitchen. Ian bounced along after him saying things like ‘who knew you were such a softy’ and ‘does this mean we are best friends now.’  

  
 ‘Oh my god shut the fuck up’. Mickey said when they finally made it to the kitchen pushing Ian who was now leant on the kitchen counter smiling his goofy face off. Mickey shook his head and came just a tiny bit closer to letting his smile show.

   
 ‘Oh come on. Smile. I won’t tell anyone.’  

  
 ‘You’re a fucking dick' Mickey said and run a thumb across his lower lip before finally letting his mouth quirk at one corner.

 

 ‘Oh my god it happened’ Ian said grabbing Mickey by the waist and tickling him.     
'The fuck is this?' Mickey said so shocked he didn't really resist the tickling at first.

  
  'Just want to know how soft you can get'

  
  'I'm not fucking soft' Mickey said finally having a physical reaction to what was happening and pulling Ian into a headlock.   

 

Ian couldn’t help but laugh as he scrambled to get away from Mickey, eventually kicking Mickey’s legs out from underneath him. But Mickey was smart and kept hold of Ian and pulled him to the floor with him. They scuffled on the floor for a second before Mickey managed to get Ian on his back and straddle him.

  
He pinned both Ian's arms above his head.   

 

'You can't beat me fire crotch' Mickey said and Ian's heart was pounding, he figured out very quickly it wasn't just because of the tussle. What the fuck was he doing? This was Mickey Milkovich. He hated him. Didn't he?

  
  'You're right Mickey. You're so big and strong' Ian said wriggling his brows clearly giving up on the idea of self-restraint.

  
  'I will fucking choke you' Mickey said loosening his grip but keeping his hands on Ian's wrists. Ian could see in Mickey’s eyes that there was no menace in his words.

  
  'Oh yeah? What if I like it?' Ian said and let his eyes flick down to Mickey’s mouth. Another smirk appeared there and Ian felt Mickey’s hands tighten on his wrist again.

  
  'Fuck' Mickey stuttered almost a whisper and leant in closer to Ian. They stared into each other’s eyes for a second, both knowing what was about to happen. Ian didn't know who started it but before he knew it his lips were on Mickey’s. It was gentle and god Mickey’s lips were soft. He felt Mickey’s hands slide down his arms and a tingling sensation ran through his whole body. Mickey’s hands finally reached his face and Ian was surprised at the gentleness of the whole thing.   They moved together in one motion, Mickey sat up and Ian followed, their mouths staying locked together.

  
Mickey kept his hands on Ian's face and Ian placed both his hands on Mickey’s hips before deepening the kiss and getting a little moan out of him. Ian's body reacted to the moan before he did and he let his hands slip up into Mickey’s shirt. Ian felt Mickey's thumb run along his pulse just before Mickey pulled out of the kiss but stayed straddling Ian.   Mickey looked at Ian as if he was trying to dive into his head and figure out what was going on in there.

  
 'We hate each other' Mickey said all of a sudden.

  
  'I know' Ian said laughing but running his fingers across the skin his hands were on. Mickey bit his lip and began to stand up. Ian followed and they stood awkwardly looking at each other.   

  
'You think this is a good idea Red?' Mickey said and Ian couldn't help but notice that Mickey seemed almost. What was it? Shy.

  
  'Hate sex is kinda hot' Ian smirked and Mickey finally made eye contact and there was fire in his eyes.

  
  'So you're gonna hate fuck me huh Gallagher?' Mickey said and the words were full of lust. Ian moved without thought, pinning Mickey to the island.

  
  'I get to fuck you?' Ian said and licked a stripe up Mickey’s neck.

  
  'Only if you promise not to be a pussy about it' Mickey said and pushed his crotch into Ian's.

  
  'Jesus fuck' Ian gasped and attacked Mickey's lips again.  

  
 Before they knew it, hands were everywhere as they stumbled their way towards the bedroom. It was made even more difficult by the way they kept slamming each other into the walls as they clawed hungrily at each other's necks, asses and clothes. By the time they made it to Ian's room they were both shirtless and out of breath. Ian threw Mickey down on the bed.

  
  'That's all you got red?' Mickey laughed.

  
  'You're so fucking annoying do you know that' Ian said as he opened his jeans and removed them.

  
  'That's a bit rich coming from' but Mickey didn't finish his sentence. Instead he just stared at the now fully naked Ian. Stood in all his glory and fully hard in front of Mickey. 'Well look at that. Something I might like about you.' Mickey said launching forward and taking Ian into his mouth before he could even blink.   The sensation was unreal and Ian felt it through his entire body.

  
  'Jesus Christ Mick' Ian moaned.   

 

Mickey pulled off and started undoing his own jeans. Ian helped rip them off with Mickey’s boxers as quickly as he could before falling down on top of Mickey.

  
  'Christ Gallagher. No need to be so needy'

  
  'I'm just trying to get to the good stuff' Ian said and reached down to grab Mickey’s rock hard cock. Mickey’s eyes closed and he let out another soft moan. It sent shivers down Ian's spine. 'Don't want to spend any more time with you than necessary' Ian said but didn't stop from slowly jerking the man beneath him.

  
  'Couldn't agree with you more' Mickey said, shuddering underneath him as he bit down on Ian's lower lip.

  
  In spite of what they just said, Mickey ran a hand down Ian's chest until he found Ian's dick and joined in the stroking. They continued to kiss deeply, gently moaning into each other’s mouths and stroking slowly for a while longer before the slow pace started to take its toll on Ian and his whole body shuddered.

  
  'You ok there Red?' Mickey said smiling and picking up the pace of his hand a bit, clearly enjoying the way Ian was falling apart above him.  

  
 'Shut the fuck up and suck' Ian said through his almost blinding pleasure and stuck two fingers into Mickey’s mouth. Mickey did as he was told 'I'm gonna have to fuck that smirk off your face' Ian said and slid one of his now wet fingers into Mickey.

  
  'You.. you think.... you're that good huh?' Mickey said between moans as Ian slowly worked him open adding another finger.  

   
'Oh’ I know I am' Ian said and heard Mickey chuckle.

  
  'I'm good. Let's go.' Mickey said starting to turn himself over 'let's see you put your money where your dick is Red' Mickey turned over onto his hands and knees and Ian took a moment to take in the image.

  
It was easy to forget just how fucking hot Mickey was when he was being an utter dick, but right now, perched on the bed, sweating and hungry for Ian, it was a startling and incredible sight 'get the fuck on with it then' Mickey said.   

  
'You know, I didn't have you pegged as such a needy little bottom Mick' Ian said kneeling behind Mickey on the bed and spanking his ass, leaving a rich red hand print on the pale skin.

  
  'Are we gonna chit chat all day or?' Mickey said and Ian rolled his eyes, leaning to table next to his bed to grab the condom and packet of lube in his wallet. He wasted no time wrapping and slicking up before placing two lubed fingers back inside Mickey.

  
  'Your ass better be worth this' Ian said spanking Mickey one more time just to piss him off before going straight to it and bottoming out in one thrust.

  
  Mickey moaned so deep and loud and Ian smirked when Mickey’s legs trembled. Ian leaned forward and whispered into Mickey’s ear.   

 

'You take it so good Mick'   Mickey let out an almost whimper and he shook beneath Ian.

  
'Just. Fucking. Move' he managed to get out and Ian let out a breathy laugh before pulling out and slamming right back in.   

 

Ian sat back up and thrust hard and deep into Mickey refusing to hold back, giving the mess that was Mickey Milkovich underneath him everything he had.

  
Before long they were both moaning and cursing, Mickey grabbing onto the sheets beneath him and Ian gripping tight into Mickey’s hips.

  
  'Fuck yes. Right fucking there' Mickey said and Ian loved the praise, hammering away at the same spot. He felt himself getting close when suddenly Mickey had pulled off and Ian was being thrown onto his back.   

  
Mickey climbed on top and lowered his self onto Ian whose eyes pretty much rolled into the back of his head at the sensation. He knew this was about Mickey regaining some of the power, so he held onto Mickey’s thighs and let him ride him, allowing moans he didn't know he could make escape his lips. Mickey had one hand on Ian's chest to support himself, his eyes were closed and he was biting down on his lip.

  
Ian let himself just look up at the man above him and appreciate him privately. His plump mouth and strong shoulders. Mickey looked so unbelievably hot like this, he wanted to convince himself he was enjoying this because it was no strings attached, got nothing better to do than prove a point to an enemy, just to get yourself off sex. But as he watched Mickey unraveling above him he found himself wanting to make this last. To please the guy on top of him, watch him come undone over and over again.

 

Mickey picked up the pace a little and opened his eyes to stare down at Ian; they were completely blown and full of nothing but heat.

 

‘Fuck. I wish I’d have known your alien looking ass was attached to this cock all this time’ Mickey said putting one of his hands to Ian’s throat ‘and that all I had to do was fuck you to get you to shut that pretty little mouth of yours.’

Ian used his grip on Mickey’s hips to flip them over and fuck Mickey hard into the mattress.

 

‘Same could be said for your tight ass Mick, I’m much prefer you moaning to talking’ Ian said with a particularly hard thrust and Mickey screamed in pleasure. Ian kept up his movements and Mickey wrapped his legs around Ian’s body. Ian went in for another kiss and they both slowed slightly to focus on their tongues.

Ian trailed the kisses to Mickey’s neck who tilted his head to give him access. They continued to rock together at a steady but less aggressive pace and Mickey carded his fingers into Ian’s hair while he held onto to one of Ian’s shoulders with the other.

 

Ian’s breaths became laboured and he felt that familiar sensation rise up his body, this whole thing was hot. It was intimate and Ian felt like he could feel Mickey all the way to the tip of his toes. Ian let out a little whimper.

 

‘Fuck. Ian’ Mickey said almost desperately and the sound of his name on Mickeys lips pushed him over the edge as he bit down on Mickey’s shoulder, filling the condom inside Mickey. As the power of the orgasm hit him, he also felt Mickey trembling and stuttering below him just as he felt the warm hot release of Mickey between them.

 

They stayed like that for a moment, before Ian finally sat up and looked at Mickey’s flushed face.  

 

‘Not bad Gallagher’ Mickey said as Ian rolled away from him.

 

‘Certainly not the worst I’ve ever had’ Ian replied with a chuckle.

 

‘Fuck off’ Mickey said and Ian looked sideways at Mickey’s content and beautiful face, his breathing was slowing and his eyes were closed. Ian watched for a while, eventually closing his own eyes to let his heart slow down and catch his breath.

 

***    


Ian opened his eyes and was confused for a second to where he was. He looked to one side and found Mickey asleep next to him. He got up gently to check his phone and saw they had only been sleeping for 20 minutes or so. They had really taken it out of each other. Ian slid his way out of the bed not wanting to wake mickey, quickly pulled on some boxers and made his way to the kitchen.

 

Ian poured himself a glass of water and leaned against the counter top, he took a sip of his water thinking about the fact that he had just fucked Mickey. Not only that, but he had like it and the just thinking about it was doing all sorts of interesting things to his body. He chuckled a little to himself and took another sip of water.

  
  'You know, that's pretty fucking freaky man' Mickey said and Ian looked up to see him leaning in the doorway, also just in his boxers.

  
  'Jesus Mickey you scared me' Ian said.

  
  'I scared you? Your standing in the dark laughing to yourself'

  
  'This whole thing' he pointed between the two of them 'is kind of funny'

  
  'Funny.’ Mickey said raising his eyebrows ‘Never had that as a review before'

  
  ‘You know what I mean'

  
  'Do I?' Mickey said jumping up onto the counter opposite Ian and smiling.

  
  'Well when you took me out this morning with your snowboard, I didn't really think we'd end up here'

  
  'It wasn't my first guess' Mickey said and kicked Ian playfully.

  
  'I did hit my head pretty hard'

  
  'Then what's my excuse?' Mickey said licking his lips and running his eyes over Ian’s body.

  
  'I don't know. Maybe I was a sympathy fuck.'

  
  'Or I was just bored' Mickey continued, but finished the statement with a smile.

  
  'Or you know’ Ian started ‘it really was just your classic hate fuck'

  
  'That sounds more my style' Mickey bit his lip.   

 

They smiled at each other both clearly sensing the charged atmosphere. Ian moved forward and was kissing Mickey before he even knew what he had done. The kiss was instantly reciprocated by Mickey who again put his hands on Ian's face.

  
Ian thought it was wonderfully charming the way Mickey did that, so unexpected. If he was honest, he didn't think Mickey would kiss at all, let alone be so gentle about it. It was kind of romantic and it gave Ian butterflies.   

 

Ian realised what he was thinking, fucking butterflies, from kissing. And from kissing Mickey Milkovich. He couldn't help the smile on his face which definitely didn't go unnoticed.

  
  'You got to stop with this fucking laughing bullshit' Mickey said pulling away but smiling himself.   

 

'Sorry it's just. You're sweet'

  
  'Excuse me?' Mickey said pulling back from Ian.

  
  'Hey, it's not a bad thing' Ian said laughing and pulling Mickey’s face back into his and kissing him again. ‘I just. Didn’t expect you to be like this’

 

‘Like what?’

 

‘I don’t know. You know.’ Ian ran a thumb across Mickey’s lip and pulled Mickey’s hips closer to him with the other hand ‘you’re all, gentle and stuff.’

 

Mickey let Ian kiss him again and they both allowed several lustful moans to escape their mouths.

 

‘You assumed a lot based on the fact you never really spoke to me’

 

‘Maybe you’re right’ Ian ran his hands up Mickey’s sides, knowing it would get the little shudder he was becoming addicted to. ‘I think. Maybe. I don’t hate you.’ Ian let his mouth trail to Mickey’s neck and Mickey melted into it. Running his fingers through Ian’s hair and gasping.

 

‘I guess I don’t hate you that much either Red.’ Mickey said and Ian instantly pulled off to stare at Mickey.

 

‘Really?’ Ian said with the widest smile. He didn’t even care how blatant he was being in this moment.

 

‘I think you should put that mouth of yours to better use right now.’ Mickey said quickly glancing down at his crotch and back up to Ian with a smug expression on his face.

 

‘Oh, you mean my pretty mouth?’ Ian said and smiled when Mickey rolled his eyes.

 

‘Fuck sake Gallagher. Shut up’ Mickey said and went back in for another deep kiss.

The kiss quickly heated up and within minutes they were biting and clawing at each other’s bodies and palming each other’s dicks. Ian couldn’t believe the electricity he felt with this man.

 

Suddenly a phone was ringing and the boys snapped back out of the kiss like they had been caught. Mickey jumped down from the island and grabbed his phone from the countertop and rolled his eyes when he saw who was calling.

 

‘What?’ he said and pulled on Ian’s hair to encourage him to keep kissing his neck. Ian could hear Mandy at the other end of the line.

 

‘Is Ian ok?’ Mandy said and Mickey returned his hand to Ian’s crotch.

 

‘He’s fine’ Mickey said pressing harder at Ian’s crotch, clearly enjoying the way Ian was trying to stifle a moan.

 

‘He’s not answering his phone.’

 

‘I got this. Just stop fucking worrying.’ Mickey said and his breath hitched wide when Ian dropped to his knees in front of him.

 

‘You Ok?’ Ian heard Mandy say as he took Mickey into his mouth.

 

‘Fuck. Yes I’m fine. Can I go now’

 

‘Fine. Asshole. Just make sure Ian’s Ok’

 

‘Whatever.’ Mickey said hanging up and throwing the phone to one side and finally letting out a moan of pleasure.

 

Ian pulled off of Mickey and met his gaze. ‘So you gonna make sure I’m Ok Mick?’ he said with a smile.

 

‘Shut up and do what you’re good at’ Mickey said as he grabbed Ian by the hair and thrust towards his face. Ian chuckled but did exactly what he was told, deep throating Mickey to prove just how good he was at this.

 

***

 

The next morning Ian woke up alone in his bed. After another round or seven, he couldn't quite remember anymore with Mickey, he went back to his own room neither of them wanting to be caught in the same bed.

  
He sat up and enjoyed the aching feeling of a night of hot sex on his body. He heard noises in the kitchen down the hall and knew it was time to get up. He suddenly felt excited. And he knew it was because he wanted to see Mickey.

  
He pulled on some clothes and his wish was granted as soon as he opened his door. Mickey was coming out of the bathroom in just his towel. Ian smiled but quickly noticed the way Mickey was dodging his gaze.

  
'Hey' Ian said.

  
But Mickey just nodded and walked past him, shutting his door quickly behind him and bursting the little bubble of joy Ian had been in.

  
Ian sat and ate breakfast with the rest of the group, trying to figure out what the fuck Mickey was playing at. Mickey finally joined them at breakfast pouring a cup of coffee, sitting the other end of the table and acting as if Ian wasn't even there. Ian couldn't understand what the fuck his problem was. He would have probably even preferred it if Mickey had gone back to being an ass. But this, radio silence, this was horrible.

  
'So is everyone up for hitting the slopes again today?' Mandy said and there was a collective ‘yes’ in the room.

  
'No' Mickey said and Ian looked up to see Mickey downing the last of his coffee. 'I'm gonna drive into town, get some stuff for the party tonight.

  
'You want me to come with or Ian if you're still not up to' Mandy started  
'No' Mickey cut in at the mention of Ian's name, 'I don't need help' Mickey said standing up and putting on his jacket.

  
'Oh. Kay.' Mandy said picking up very easily her brother’s bad mood. Mickey left the house without even a glance at Ian and everyone went back to chit chatting. Ian just looked at his breakfast feeling the anger he had subside and turn to something else, maybe pain. Or was it sadness.

  
***  


Ian was drying the plates from breakfast absent mindedly while Mandy washed.

  
'You know what’s up with Mickey?' Mandy said snapping Ian out of his thoughts.

  
'Um. No.' Ian said but the frown on his face was giving him up.

  
'What the fuck happened between you to last night? You get in a fight?'

  
'No,' Ian said and turned to place a plate in the cupboard and hide his reddening face.

  
'What the actual fuck!' Mandy punched his arm.

  
'What' he said feigning ignorance.

  
'You fucked didn't you.'

  
'No!'

  
'Don't lie to me Ian' Mandy said turning Ian around to face her 'I fucking knew this would happen.'

  
'Wait what?'

  
'Oh come on. He practically pulls on your pig tails and tells you you've got cooties every time he sees you.'

  
'Mandy, what the hell are you talking about?'

  
'My brothers disgusting long term school girl crush on you.'

  
'What do you mean?'

  
'Oh come on Ian. You must know the way he looks at you. And that fucking fake mean shit he does with you. That's just him trying to cover the fact he wants to marry you and have loads of ginger babies.'

  
'He said that?'

  
'Of course he fucking didn't' Mandy said 'but he don't need to. I can see it written all over his face'

  
'No. Mickey hates me'

  
'Come on Ian. Even you're not that stupid.' She said raising an eyebrow and Ian was wracking his brain trying to think about his relationship with Mickey. He had genuinely only ever gotten hate vibes, well except for last night. But that was different.

  
'I really don't think' Ian started but Mandy cut him off.

  
'That why he's so pissy this morning? What did you do?'

  
'Me? We were both there and were both just as into it. He's the one who woke up this morning and acted like I didn't exist!'

  
'Oh Jesus Christ!' Mandy said drying her hands and pushing her hair out of face. 'You like him too don't you?'

  
'What. No. I just'

  
'Ian. Don't fucking lie to me.'

  
'Look. I honestly thought we hated each other. Until last night. Then I saw this side to him, like, he is funny and kind and kinda sweet. Which surprised me because I thought he was sort of a fucking jackass. But then we were laughing and then suddenly we were kissing and then you know. And it was great. Like really great.'

  
'Holy shit, what the fuck. I leave you two alone for one night and you fall in love!'

  
'Clearly not. He won't even look at me'

  
'Well yeah. Imagine you're an emotionally stunted meat head who has been pining over your sister’s supermodel best friend for like a million years and then they finally fuck you. That's a lot for anyone to take let alone my fuckhead brother. Trust me. This is what Mickey does. He pushes people away before they can hurt him.'

  
'The fuck am I supposed to do then?’

  
'Do you actually like him?' Mandy said leaning against the countertop.

  
'I don't know. I thought we hated each other until yesterday and it has all just happened really fast and'

  
'Ian. You do or you don't.' Mandy said and eyed her best friend.

  
Ian bit his lower lip and thought about the answer. But he already knew. He had known since their first kiss right in this room last night. He looked up to meet his best friend’s eyes and nodded once.  

 

***   


Ian had made the same fucking mistake he always did. He thought all day about what Mandy had said and went back and forth between deciding to say something and thinking it was a bad idea. He tried to focus on skiing but just ended up heading for a coffee on his own, far too confused to have a good time.   

  
Then when they got back to the house Mickey kept up his 'pretend Ian is invisible' game and Ian finally decided not to say anything. This was fucking bullshit. If this is how Mickey reacts to things then he wasn't worth Ian's time.   

 

So Ian had found himself sulking in the corner of the New Year’s party drinking yet another glass of champagne even though he knew he shouldn't, but not giving a fuck. This was the worst New Years he had ever had by far.

  
  He was trying not to look around too much because he kept making awkward eye contact with Mickey. He thought about what Mandy had said, that Mickey was just trying to protect himself, and trying to find any truth in the idea that Mickey had always liked him. If he was honest, Mickey didn't give anyone he didn't like the time of day, but he always found ways to talk to Ian, even if was just to be a dick. He looked up to see Mickey looking at him again and noticed Mickey swallowing and running a thumb across his lower lip. Mickey flinched forward and Ian was certain he was about to come over to Ian when his view was blocked by Dean stumbling toward him, he thought that someone must be doing this on purpose.  

 

‘Funny isn’t it?’ Dean said leaning next to Ian on the wall.

  
‘What is?’ Ian said.

  
‘That this time last year we were happy.’

  
‘Don’t do this Dean’ Ian said.

  
‘Why. It make you uncomfortable?’

  
‘I’m not doing this with you’

  
‘You said you loved me’ Dean spat.

  
‘I did’

  
‘Then why won’t you just be with me?’

  
‘Dean.’ Ian said turning to face him ‘it wasn’t about you.’

  
‘Of course it wasn’t’ Dean scoffed ‘I’m not suggesting its anything I did wrong. You were lucky to be with me in the first place. Fucking around the way you were. Still stuck in that southside life.’ Dean put a hand to Ian’s face and he was too drunk and confused by Deans words to do anything. ‘I made you better Ian. I made you into something you could be proud of.’

  
Ian couldn’t deny that Dean had helped him and that they had a great life together, but he also wasn’t going to let Dean take all of the credit for it.

  
‘I didn’t need fucking fixing Dean. I wasn’t broken.’

  
‘Oh come on. You think just because you went to fucking college and got an Ok job you’re not still some fucking stripper from the ghetto. People like you need people like me. We are your only way out.’

  
‘Fuck you Dean. You know. I wouldn’t have stayed with you so long if I’d have known what you were really thinking.’ Ian stood up straight and went to walk away but Dean grabbed his arm and pushed him into the wall.

  
‘You’re fucking nothing you know that.’ Dean said and before he had the chance to respond Dean was being ripped backwards by the shirt and pinned against the wall next to Ian.

  
‘What the fuck did you just say to him?’ Mickey whispered sinisterly

  
‘The fuck are you doing Mick?’ Ian said pulling Mickey back.

  
'Thug' Dean muttered

  
'Why don't know you go fuck yourself' Mickey sneered but released Dean from his grip.

 

Mickey looked at Ian who raised his eyebrows in an effort to say 'what the fuck are you playing at. You are so confusing. What do want from me. What the hell is going on. I still want to kiss you. Fuck sake. What the fuck.’ But he struggled to do it all on one look. Mickey frowned and looked away shyly and then turned away. Dean looked between Ian and Mickey and scoffed.

  
'Seriously Ian? You're gonna rebound with this piece of shit? I thought you had more class than that.' Dean spat and Mickey just shook his head and headed off down the corridor.

  
'You don't know a thing about him.'

  
'Oh. And I bet you do. What happened you spend one night with him and fall in love. You're such a child.'

  
'Well I gave you two years and didn't realise until now what a fucking joke you are and a waste of time that was. So clearly time frames mean nothing.' Ian said turning away not being able to get the pained look on Mickey's face out of his head.

  
Ian charged down the hall to Mickey's bedroom where he guessed he was hiding. He opened the door, slamming it behind him and crossing his arms. Mickey was sat by the windowsill nursing his drink. He barley looked up at Ian's entrance.

  
'The fuck was that?' Ian spat but Mickey didn't even flinched. So Ian stormed over to Mickey grabbed the drink from his hand and poured its contents into the plant in the corner slamming the glass down on the table.

  
'What the fuck Gallagher?' Mickey moaned.

  
'Oh. He speaks' Ian was shouting now.

  
'Keep your fucking voice down'

  
'Oh I'm sorry. Am I not being discreet? Maybe I should go and fucking throttle someone against the wall in front of a room for of people'

  
'Whatever. I was just looking out for your ass'

  
'Didn't think you gave a shit?' Ian said glaring at Mickey. Mickey just looked away. 'You can't just fuck me all night. Ignore me all day and then just attack someone to defend my honour Mick! I can't keep up.'

  
'I shouldn't have got involved in your little domestic with your boyfriend'

  
'The fuck? He's my ex and I can handle him'

  
'Fine' Mickey said and went to leave the room but Ian grabbed him and pulled him back in.

  
'Where are you going?'

  
'Back to the party'

  
'Oh. So we are done here are we?'

  
'I said I'm fucking sorry'

  
'I don't want you to say you're sorry. I want you to tell me why you won't even look at me.'

  
Mickey finally looked up at him. 'I don't know what you want me to say?'

  
'Are you serious right now? Did I make up last night? Am I losing my goddamn mind? You can't just spend a night like that with someone and then the next day pretend they don't fucking exist'

  
'It was fun.'

  
'Fun? That's what you're going with?'

  
'What do you want from me?'

  
'I want you to stop being a pussy and tell me that you felt what happened between us last night'

  
'Nothing fucking happened. Like your boyfriend said. I was a rebound. I know that you know that. Let's not make a fucking big deal out it'

  
'Rebound? You serious?'

  
'Look its fine, you pissed off Dean by coming here and fucking me. That's fine. But can we just leave it now'

  
'Me fucking you had nothing do with Dean'

  
'No?'

  
'Of course not.' Ian said and grabbed Mickey by the neck. 'You're a foul mouthed, rude, prick who for some reason makes me feel more awake than I have in a really long time.' Ian said and Mickey just looked at him. 'I'm serious. I don't know what's going on between us. Or what it means. But last night. I felt something and I saw a side to you I hadn't seen before. And Mick' Ian said pulling Mickey closer to him 'I want to see more of that if you'll let me'

  
'That's really fucking gay Gallagher' Mickey said and smiled a little.

  
'That another smile Mick?'

  
'Fuck you'

  
'If you want' Ian said and raised an eyebrow.

  
Mickey laughed but pulled Ian to him and kissed him hard. Pushing Ian against the door and slipping a hand past Ian's waist to lock the door.

  
Ian pulled away 'so what does this mean then?' Ian said and smiled when Mickey rolled his eyes 'I'm not asking you to marry me Mick. I'm just seeing if maybe you know, I could have your number, text you maybe when we get back'

  
'I'll think about it' Mickey smirked and went back in for a kiss but Ian put a hand to his chest.

  
'You'll think about it?' And he quirked an eyebrow.

  
'Fine. You can have my fucking number Red. Now just be quiet yeah.'

  
'I guess I can do' Ian started but was stopped by Mickey covering his mouth with a hand.

  
'Listen' Mickey said and Ian could hear everyone counting down from 10 at the end of the hall. The two looked at each other until they heared the cheers from the other side of the house. 'Happy New Year Gallagher'

  
'I think it's gonna be' Ian said and interrupted Mickey's giant eye roll by attacking his lips with another deep kiss.

 


	2. January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After New Years Ian and Mickey keep in touch via text message. Eventually they decide to go on a date, let's hope they haven't gone back to just hating each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I decided to carry on with this for those who wanted me to. Which I'm secretly really glad of because I'm already in love with this story. 
> 
> The story will cover a chapter per month over the next year of their life. It will show the ups the downs (the ins and outs) and everything in between ;D

Tuesday 2nd January 

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

This is my number

****

**_From Mick_ **

Gathered Red.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Well it’s great to see you are just as charming in texts then.

****

**_From Mick_ **

And that u tlk as much

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

You back to work soon?

****

**_From Mick_ **

Today.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

WTF?? It’s only the 2nd

****

**_From Mick_ **

Yeah well. What dad says goes.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Hmmmm.. How was your day then?

****

**_From Mick_ **

I didn’t give you my number so we could fucking chitchat.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

What did you give it to me for then?

****

**_From Mick_ **

You asked for it.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

So we could keep talking ** _._**

****

**_From Mick_ **

Well I’m trying to work atm.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Stop texting back then ;)

****

****

****

Monday 8th January

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

How was your weekend?

****

**_From Mick_ **

Good

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Do anything fun.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Not really.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

You’re like an open book you know that?

****

**_From Mick_ **

We’ve texted ever day for a week. The fuck else you need to know?

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

You’re right. Maybe we should meet up

****

**_From Mick_ **

Meet up?

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Yeah.

****

**_From Mick_ **

My place or yours?

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Not a fucking hook up Mickey.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Why the fuck not?

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

I want to take you on a date.

****

**_From Mick_ **

You’re so fucking gay.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Oh come on.

Wait, have you ever been on a date before?

****

**_From Mick_ **

Why the fuck would I do that.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

OMG now I’m deffo taking you out.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Go fuck yourself.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

How can you have never been on a date?

****

**_From Mick_ **

Don’t see the point.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

They’re fun Mick. What’s wrong with fun?

****

**_From Mick_ **

Nothing. But it’s just a way to see if you want to fuck them. And we already did. So what’s the point?

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

You mean you don’t need to date me cause you already know you want me?

****

**_From Mick_ **

Not what I said.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

But its what you meant.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Fuck off.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Night Mick J

****

****

Friday 12th January

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

So it’s the weekend.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Well done

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

And I thought you might be free.

****

**_From Mick_ **

You change your mind about the hook up.

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

No. Thought I might take you for dinner tomorrow.

****

**_From Mick_ **

I told you I don’t date.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Not even for me?

****

**_From Mick_ **

Can’t do this weekend

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Ok what about the one after?

****

**_From Mick_ **

I'll think about it. 

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

Please do. You know you want to see me again. 

****

**_From Mick_ **

Confident there 

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

Mickey. I made you fucking scream at New Years.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Don’t text me shit like that. 

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

Chill out. Not like I'm sexting you. 

I could if you want me to? 

 

**_From Mick_ **

Shut the fuck up. 

****

** Saturday 13th January  **

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

I'm out with your sister. 

****

**_From Mick_ **

I’m asleep fuckhead. 

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

Clearly not. 

****

**_From Mick_ **

Not now some idiot is texting me. 

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

I miss you. 

****

**_From Mick_ **

How drunk are you? 

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

I’m not drunk 

Ok I’m a bit drunk 

But I do miss you ** _._**

****

**_From Mick_ **

Go home.

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

I could come to yours?

****

**_From Mick_ **

Thought you didn't want to just hook up?

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

I changed my mind.

****

**_From Mick_ **

No. You got drunk

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

 Not just that though. I really want to fuck you again

 

**_From Mick_ **

Stop.

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

Oh come on. Tell me you don't think about it.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Shut it Gallagher

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

That's a definite yes then!

What did you like the most?

****

**_From Mick_ **

I'm not doing this with you. 

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

Shall I come over then? 

****

**_From Mick_ **

Thought you were taking me out first?

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

So you will go out with me?

****

**_From Mick_ **

If it will shut you the fuck up. 

 

**_From Gallagher_ **

Yes! I knew you'd cave. 

****

**_From Mick_ **

Go to fucking sleep.

 

** Sunday 14th January  **

**_From Gallagher_ **

Morning.

****

**_From Mick_ **

How are you even awake?

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

I’m young!

****

**_From Mick_ **

What do you want?

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

I was just letting you know I didn’t forget about last night.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Don’t know what you’re talking about.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

You agreed to a date.

****

**_From Mick_ **

To shut you up.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Whatever the reason you said it. No take backs!

****

**_From Mick_ **

Fine.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Yay. You free tonight?

****

****

**_From Mick_ **

I told you I’m busy this weekend.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Fine. Just let me know when you are free.

****

****

Wednesday 17th of January 

**_From Gallagher_ **

I hate working out.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Then don’t.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

But I need to keep my body in shape.

You’ve seen it. You get it.

****

**_From Mick_ **

I don’t remember much of it.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Liar.

****

**_From Mick_ **

It was your cock I was interested. Not bothered what’s attached to it.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

:D I’m gonna be both happy and offended by that.

****

**_From Mick_ **

You would.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

But I know you don’t mean it.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Whatever.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

:D I’ll have to remind you.

****

**_From Mick_ **

You’re a fucking idiot.

Look. You still wanna do this date thing?

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Ha. Yes Mickey. You just got let me know when you’re free.

****

**_From Mick_ **

This weekend.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Really?

****

**_From Mick_ **

I just said didn’t I?

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Saturday then?

****

**_From Mick_ **

Fine.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Where do you want to go?

****

**_From Mick_ **

I don’t fucking care Red.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

You’re so sweet. I’ll find somewhere nice and send you the location.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Call me sweet again I’ll cut your fucking tongue out.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

Stop flirting.

****

**_From Mick_ **

Fuck off.

****

**_From Gallagher_ **

See you tomorrow J

****

****

****

** Saturday 20th **

 

Ian sat in the booth playing on his phone, trying his hardest to look casual, but knowing he was failing miserably. He looked up to the door every five seconds to see if Mickey had arrived yet. He felt so nervous, but the best kind of excited nervous. He picked a quite nice bar, he thought it seemed more casual for a first date and wouldn’t freak Mickey out too much.

  
He couldn't believe that the New Years trip he had been dreading and that he assumed would be chalked up to one of the worst experiences of his life ended up being such a fucking whirl wind.   
  
He had worried a few times over the past month that him and Mickey would see each other again and it would be awful. That they would realise they hated each other and must have been on some weird new year, trapped in a cabin high when they fucked and go back to how things were. Except now it would be worst. Now they would have fucked and it would be weird as well as annoying. The last thing you want is your enemy knowing what your dick looks like.   
  
But he couldn't deny that he had seen such a different side to Mickey, and that ever since he couldn't help but think every sarcastic or snappy remark from Mickey was just his messed up way of showing affection. After all, he had been happily texting back this whole time and had agreed to come on the date. So he must of still thought there was a chance he liked Ian too. Ian remembered how Mickey had been happy to hook up every now and then and resisted the date, but he put that to the back of his mind and tried his best to stop the mess of thoughts racing through his mind.   
  
He looked up to the door as it swung open and Mickey was walking into the bar. He was dressed in all black, skinny jeans, a tight black shirt and a black leather jacket. All of Ian's fears fell straight out of his head and he literally felt his mouth water at the sight of Mickey. Had Mickey always been so unbelievably hot? Ian went a little giddy when he remembered that Mickey was here to have a date with HIM. No one else, him, and that Ian had been the lucky fucking guy who had tapped that ass. He smiled to himself at his own dorkiness and Mickey finally caught his eye and smiled back.   
  
Ian didn't bother trying to be discreet as Mickey walked over, he very happily ran his eyes over Mickey’s whole body, knowing his face was covered with a look of blatant lust.  
  
'You might wanna pick your jaw up from the floor there Red.' Mickey said smirking and sliding into the other side of the booth.   
  
The waiter came over and they ordered some beers, Ian was surprised at how comfortable he felt with Mickey. The waiter left and Mickey removed his jacket and Ian smiled at the way his tight black shirt stretched across his chest.

 

'Did you get hotter?' Ian said.   
  
'No, you just hate me less so you can finally see what everyone else already knew.'

****

‘Very sure of yourself there Milkovich.’

 

‘Hey I’m just saying what everyone thinks’

 

The waiter brought their beers over and Mickey gulped down almost half of his in one go. Ian watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he took a gulp of his own.

 

‘Well. If you’re as amazing as you say you are. Why is this your first ever date?’ Ian taunted.

 

‘I told you. I don’t see the point in dating.’

 

‘Until now.’ Ian said with a smirk.

 

‘Look, I cant give people what they want. So its easier to just fuck.’ Mickey said looking around the bar.

 

‘And what do people want Mick?’

 

‘A relationship.’

 

‘Let me guess. You’re the I don’t do relationships guy.’

 

‘No. I’m the I’ve got a homophobic piece of shit for a dad and wouldn’t want to put that on anyone else kinda guy.’

 

‘Oh.’ Ian said.

 

‘Ey. It’s not a big deal. He knows I’m gay.’ Mickey said taking another huge swig of his pint.

 

‘He does?’

 

‘Yeh man. He caught me enough times to know you cant actually beat the queer out of someone.’

 

‘Fuck Mick.’ Ian said putting a hand on Mickeys arm but he pushed it off laugjing.

 

‘Oh don’t gimme that shit Gallagher. You’re southside, you know that’s how it is.’

 

‘But still.’

 

‘Still. He could have killed me. But instead we made a sorta deal.’

 

‘A deal?’ Ian said confused.

 

‘Yeah. I do what I want with who I want in private. He pretends not to know.’

 

‘That doesn’t seem fair.’

 

‘When the fuck was anything ever fair?’ Mickey shook his head and grabbed a menu from the middle of the table.

 

‘So you would be in a relationship. If you could?’

 

‘I don’t know. I don’t really see the point in them anyway.’ Mickey continued to scan the appetizer list.

 

‘What?’

 

‘Look.’ Mickey lowered the menu ‘There are people like you. People who go from relationship to relationship. They fall in love and move in together and get a little fuck dog with a fucking sweater and their happy. Then there are people like me. I do what I gotta do, fuck who I want to fuck and look out for myself only.’

 

‘Well maybe I should be more like you then. Cause what I’ve been doing is clearly not working out so great.’ Ian said snatching the menu from Mickey.

 

‘You don’t gotta change Red. That shit with Dean didn’t work out because he’s a fucking ass clown.’

 

‘I’m a lot to handle.’ Ian said not looking up.

 

‘You mean that shit he was spouting about your bi polar? That’s bullshit and everyone knows it.’ Mickey said and Ian looked up at Mickey.

 

‘Do they.’

 

‘Of course man. The guys a fucking idiot. No one cares about that shit.’ Mickey patted Ian’s shoulder once.

 

Ian chuckled and shook his head ‘maybe conversations about my mental ill ness are more like a 10th date topic.’

 

‘I’ve know you for like 3 fucking years man.’

 

‘No. You’ve hated me for three years.’

 

‘Not because of that.’ Mickey said with a look of worry on his face ‘You talked to me about it at the cabin.’

 

‘I know that,’ Ian said smiling at the sincerity of mickeys words ‘but I didn’t realise there was even a chance of’ Ian motioned between the two of them ‘this.’

 

‘Ok’ Mickey smiled and they allowed for the moment of seriousness before Mickey cut it short in the best way he knew how. ‘It’s your big mouth that would send me over the edge first.’

 

‘If I can recall, you said you liked my mouth. What did you call it? Pretty?’

 

‘Yeah. Wrapped around my dick not going on at me for weeks to get a fucking date.’

 

‘It worked didn’t it.’ Ian said smiling ‘and maybe if you’re lucky I’ll put it to better use later.’

 

Mickey almost choked on his beer. ‘Fucking Jesus Ian.’

 

‘Oh don’t be such a prude.’ Ian said smirking while raising his glass to his lips and slowly taking a sip.

 

***

 

The night was going well. Extremely well. It may have even been the best date Ian had been on. It was like he was out with a good friend, which he kind of was, he had known Mickey a long time, known his sister forever, worked with his family. But then he also got the fun of it feeling like he was meeting someone new, because he didn’t really know the real Mickey. And the more he was seeing the more he liked.

 

‘So. Why did you come tonight?’

 

‘Sorry?’

 

‘You said you don’t date. So why did you come here?’

 

‘I guess I wanted to see you again.’ Mickey said and Ian smiled wider than he thought his face could handle. He saw Mickey blush a little at the admission before shaking his head ‘don’t gimme that fucking face Gallagher.’

 

‘See this is what I don’t get’

 

‘What?’

 

‘You’re like. A super nice fucking guy. But also the biggest asshole.’ Ian said and Mickey just chuckled.

 

‘Um, thanks. I think.’

 

‘I just mean. Like. You seem like you don’t give a shit.’

 

‘What makes you say that?’ Mickey said swirling the last of his beer in the bottom of his glass.

 

‘I don’t know. It’s like you go out of your way to be defensive.’

 

‘Your point?’

 

‘Well it means people don’t get to now the real you.’ Ian said looking at Mickey.

 

‘Maybe I don’t want them to.’

 

‘But why?’

 

‘People will just use it against you. Don’t give them anything to put faith into I say. Then you cant disappoint.’ Mickey downed the last of his beer.

 

‘Wow. I think I literally live my life the opposite to that.’

 

‘Oh I know. But you have another side too’

 

‘Oh yeah?’ Ian said raising and eyebrow.

 

‘Yeah. You act like butter wouldn’t fucking melt. With you’re goddamn puppy dog eyes. But you always gave me as good as you got.’ Mickey said biting his lip ‘and man you can go from innocent puppy to a fucking bitch on heat in like 0.1 seconds.’

 

Ian couldn’t help but burst out laughing and looked at Mickey who was still biting his lip and trying to hide his smirk.

 

‘So, I did the date thing. Does that mean we get to do what I want now?’ Mickey said.

 

‘Depends what you wanna do?’

 

‘You Red’ Mickey said.

 

Ian was standing up in less than a second grabbing Mickey by the arm and dragging him out the restaurant.

 

‘I take it that’s a yes then?’ Mickey said laughing.

 

***

 

They burst into Mickey’s apartment, mouths and hands everywhere, already out of breath. Mickey pushed Ian towards the bedroom and started taking his clothes off.

 

‘Nice place.’ Ian breathed as Mickey kissed at his neck.

 

‘Can you please just focus on the task at hand please?’ Mickey said pushing Ian into his room and slamming the door behind him.

 

Mickey pushed Ian down onto the bed and climbed on top of him going back to kissing him. Ian grabbed at the leather jacket he was still wearing and started to pull it off.

 

‘Man I wanted to rip this off you as soon as you walked through the door.’

 

‘The way you were drooling I kinda figured’ Mickey said breathlessly pulling off the jacket.

 

Ian sat up and pulled of his shirt and then slowly started to undo the buttons on Mickey’s shirt.

 

‘Please Gallagher. Take your time why don’t you.’

 

‘Shhh. I’m enjoying myself.’ Ian said undoing the final buttons and pulling the shirt off Mickeys shoulders. Mickey went straight back in for the kill and Ian couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

 

‘Really? This shit again?’

 

‘I’m sorry. I just like your enthusiasm.’ Ian said rolling them over and standing up to pull off Mickey’s pants.

 

‘New years was like a month ago man.’ Mickey said going for the zip on Ian’s jeans.

 

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Ian said quickly pulling off his own pants and jumping back on top of Mickey and kissing his neck.

 

‘Just a long time without sex’ Mickey said and gasped as Ian bit down on his neck.

 

‘You haven’t had sex with anyone else?’ Ian said running his hands possessively down Mickeys sides.

 

‘I’ve been busy.’

 

‘Busy texting me and thinking about me?’ Ian sniggered.

 

‘Oh my god shut the fuck up seriously’ Mickey said reaching down to rub Ian through his boxers.

 

Ian let out a soft moan ‘I didn’t either.’

 

‘I don’t care’

 

‘Just thought you might want to know.’ Ian said and gasped as Mickey pushed his hands inside Ian’s boxers and starting stoking

 

‘You really need to shut the fuck up now.’ Mickey said and Ian smiled going in for another kiss.

 

Boxers were quickly removed and Ian kissed down Mickey’s body, lavishing the taste and trying to get as many moans out of Mickey as he could. He ran his mouth over Mickey’s soft stomach. Mickey was firm but meaty, just how Ian liked it. He bit down on the fleshiest part of Mickey, letting a moan from his own mouth escape.

 

‘Fucking ow!’ Mickey said flinching.

 

‘Sorry, you’re just so. I want to just fucking. Fuck you’re hot Mick’ Ian said going back to kissing his stomach.

 

‘Stop being a dick.’

 

‘I’m being serious. You’re a goddamn 10.’ Ian said sitting up a little.

 

‘Come on. You look fucking photo shopped.’ Mickey said pushing Ian’s head back to his hips to keep kissing.

 

‘You’re sweet.’ Ian said.

 

‘Don’t speak with you’re mouthful.’ Mickey said grabbing Ian by the hair and pushing his dick up into Ian’s warm and waiting mouth. Ian hummed instantly and Mickey bucked his hips.

 

***

 

Ian wrapped his fingers over the top of Mickey’s on the headboard as he picked up the pace of his hips and gripped his other hand around Mickey’s leaking cock.

 

‘Fucking Christ Ian.’ Mickey moaned as he pushed back against him.

 

‘Say it again.’

 

‘Say what.’ Mickey said reaching back and tugging at Ian’s hair.

 

‘My name.’ Ian said and Mickey just moaned but didn’t do as asked, so Ian removed his hand from Mickey’s cock and slowed his paced. ‘I said say my name Mickey.’

 

‘Fuck. ok. Fucking. Ian.’ Mickey said and moaned a sigh of relief when Ian went back to jerking him in time with his thrust.

 

‘You’re a good boy do you know that.’ Ian whispered in Mickey’s ear and was taken aback by how the words caused Mickey to spill over his hand. The way Mickey’s back arched and his deep moan sent Ian over the edge too and they were both left panting.

 

Ian pulled out and rolled away.

 

‘Didn’t think that would work.’ Ian breathed out.

 

‘Stop talking.’ Mickey said rolling onto his back.

 

Ian ran a hand over Mickey’s chest ‘you like being called a good boy huh? Ian said with a smirk and Mickey covered his face with his hands.

 

‘That is so fucked up.’

 

‘No its not. We all got daddy issues.’ Ian said with a chuckle and received a punch in the arm from Mickey.

 

Ian reached to the floor for his jeans to find his phone. He looked at the time and was surprised at how late it was. He got out of the bed and pulled on his boxers.

 

‘The fuck you doing?’

 

‘It’s getting late.’ Ian said

 

‘You gonna fuck me then fuck off Gallagher?’ Mickey said raising and eyebrow ‘thought you didn’t just want a hookup.’

 

‘I just thought’ Ian said, panic running across his face.

 

‘I’m just messing with you. ’ Mickey sat forward to the end of the bed and pulled Ian to him. ‘I’ll get you a cab in a bit. I’m not totally sure I’m done with you yet.’

 

‘Is that right?’

 

‘That’s right.’ Mickey said and dragged Ian down on top of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it. let me know what you think. 
> 
> I'm on Tumblr at gemmavichblr.tumblr.com come chat or send me prompts etc!


	3. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian just has one question. What the fuck is going on between him and Mickey? Maybe if he could just stop fucking the guy for a second he might have time to figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. This is happening. This is for sure a multi chapter. I have all the way up to chapter 14 planned. Whoops. Sorry not sorry. 
> 
> Also, bottom Ian because of all that bullshit in S7 where apparently he had never done it before. Makes no sense!

February

 

Ian looked down at his phone once more to see if Mickey had texted. He hadn’t. Of course he hadn’t. It wasn’t really Mickey’s style. And if Ian was totally honest it drove him insane. Made him feel like one of those people who needed to be with the person they had a crush on every second of every day.

 

And that was not Ian. In fact. It was usually the other way around. People would text him, ask him out, and pester him. And he’d sit back in the knowledge all he had to do was say and they were his. These things usually turned into relationships pretty fast which meant he did spend most of his time with the person until it fizzled out eventually and he moved on to the next.

 

Dean had of course be the most serious, to the point where they were living together 3 months after meeting. Ian had kind of thought that was his dating days over, that he was ready to do what everyone else does and settle down. But that had clearly gone very fucking badly and now he was here wondering why the guy he could barley say he was dating hadn’t texted back for 30. No. 35 minutes.

 

Mickey was Mr. fucking play it cool and Ian didn’t know how to deal with it. They had such a good time on their date; certainly the bit at Mickey’s place was good. But Ian was getting worried, he had sort of dropped his end of the deal and it had reverted to just hook ups. They had seen each other two other times since the first date. Both times at Mickey’s place after some drunken texting. Ian had suggested they meet up again and go for a drink or something, but every time Mickey brushed it off and they ended up just banging and then Ian was heading back to his own apartment in a taxi.

 

Ian’s phone buzzed and he felt his heart leap. He made a note to give himself a talking to about that later. Why could he just be cool about this? He looked down at the screen and saw that someone had liked his instagram post from that morning. He let out a disappointed sigh.

 

‘Better not be sexting at work Ian. I know the boss. You know could get you in a lot of trouble.’ Mandy said as she strutted towards him in her version of office attire. The skirt was long, but with a huge slit up one side and the jacket pinched in at the waist, leaving very little to the imagination. Exactly like how Mandy liked it. One of Ian’s favorite things about her.

 

‘You gonna run and tell your daddy?’ Ian said smiling and leaning back on his chair as she sat on his desk.

 

‘Only if you give me a good reason.’ She smiled and Ian flicked her perfectly straight fringe out of her eyes. ‘Fuck off.’ She said straightening it back down with her fingers.

 

‘I’m really busy Mandy, as you can see, so do you have a fucking reason to be here?’

 

‘Oh shut up’ she said grabbing his coffee and taking a sip.’ Ian just shook his head smiling at his best friend. ‘I’ve got to go to a fucking family meeting now and I’m just not in the mood for all the dickhead men in my family.’

 

Ian swung his head round to look at Mandy ‘your whole family?’

 

‘Yeah.’

 

‘Oh.’ He said feeing his heart pick up a step and started fumbling around with the papers on his desk.

 

‘That who you’re texting?’ Mandy said eyebrow raised.

 

‘What?’ Ian said trying to act casual but feeling like he was on fire.

 

‘My brother?’

 

‘What. No. Why would I be?’

 

‘Um, New years. Don’t think I don’t know you two fucked and made up.’ Mandy smiled and Ian just laughed.

 

‘It was nothing.’

 

‘Sure.’ She said standing up.

 

‘He’s not really big on texting’ Ian started saying.

 

‘Don’t need to tell me that.’ She pulled at her jacket a little ‘don’t expect anything out of him today. Dad’s in the building.’

 

‘You’re meeting here?’ Ian said and went back to freak out mode again. He may have worked for Mickey’s Dad’s Company, but only Mandy worked at this office. Mickey spent the days off doing god knows what around the city with his brothers, their dad only showing his face every now and then.

 

‘Yep.’ She said looking at Ian. ‘Jesus Christ, get a hold of yourself.’ She said punching him in the arm.

 

‘I’m fine. What are you talking about?’

 

‘Whatever. You’re so in love.’

 

‘Nothings going on between us.’ Ian reiterated.

 

‘Sure.’ She said shaking her head and strutting away again to her family meeting.

 

Ian couldn’t concentrate for the next few hours. It was like he could feel Mickey’s presence in the building; just knowing he was there was making him feel all sorts of weird things. He finally decided to go out of the office to get his lunch and sat in the window of a nice place just down the street. He watched people walk by, rushing around the city, trying to get a certain Milkovich out of his head.

 

He finished the final bite of his sandwich and stood up from the stool, as he walked out of the door to the café he felt his phone buzz and instantly, as though it was instinctive, reached down to pull it from his pocket. His attention should have been on where he was going though because he bumped into someone as he was walking.

 

‘Fucking. Look where your going.’ He heard them say and then looked up to apologize to find himself face to face with Mickey. ‘Gallagher?’ Mickey said and Ian couldn’t help but notice the way the color drained from Mickey’s face.

 

‘Mickey. Hey.’ Ian said.

 

‘Sup Ian.’ Mandy’s other brother Iggy said as he stood smoking his cigarette.

 

‘Hey.’ Is all Ian could get out wondering why Mickey was acting so fucking weird.

 

‘We gotta go.’ Mickey said storming past Ian into the restaurant behind them.

 

‘He’s in his usual good mood.’ Iggy said punching Ian in the arm. ‘Good to see you’

 

Ian just stood for a moment trying to take in the moment, his shock quickly turned into anger though. Fuck Mickey. He thought to himself. No way did he need this shit.

 

***

 

Ian decided not to let it bother him when he returned back to his desk. He was going to focus on work. Get the pile of stuff on his desk done. He was surprised at how well it had worked when he was pulled out of his daze by Mandy’s voice again. He couldn’t hear what she was saying but he looked up to see her coming out of the huge doors at the end of the corridor.

 

She was followed out by Iggy and the other brother Ian had only met twice before, Colin, and then finally Mickey. His heart sunk when he saw the four blue eyed, black haired siblings in their expensive black suits, they looked so much like a group of vampires Ian almost shook his head. He couldn’t help but be reminded of the scene in the twilight movie where the Cullen’s walk into the cafeteria in slow motion. They were all beautiful in the most mysterious way. Fucking Debbie making him watch that bullshit.

 

They stayed huddled at the end of the corridor talking in hushed voices and Ian tried not to glance up too often to look at them. But now he knew Mickey was in his vicinity again he couldn’t concentrate, it was like he was being dragged toward him. He looked up a final time and saw Terry Milkovich leaving the room. He patted Colin on the shoulder and Ian could hear his sickly chuckle from his desk.

 

Ian didn’t know much about Terry but he knew enough to know he was a bastard, a smart and savvy bastard who would make you disappear if he wanted to. But a bastard none the less. Ian noticed how all of the Milkovich siblings smirked along with whatever their dad was saying, except Mickey who just kept his head down and face unreadable as always.

 

Ian had to look away when his work phone started ringing, he answered to find an automated voice. Fuck sake. He slammed the phone down but when he looked back the Milkovich clan had disappeared. He checked his cell again and resented the way his stomach turned over when he saw he still had no texts.

 

***

 

Ian walked into the staff kitchen to get some more coffee. Most of the lights in the office were out and everyone had gone home. He was still trying to distract himself so thought he might as well get some work down. As he was pouring a cup for himself he heard the faint sound of music from the end of the corridor.

 

He followed the noise until he reached the source, it was one of the usually empty offices, he pushed the door open slightly and found Mickey staring out a large window that over looked the city. His suit jacket swung over the chair and a glass of whiskey in his hand.

 

He turned at the sound of the door opening.

 

‘Sorry,’ Ian said flushing and almost spilling his coffee on himself.

 

‘What you doing here?’ Mickey said.

 

‘I was working late. I didn’t know anyone was here. Sorry, I’ll’ Ian said trying to leave but being the most awkward person on the planet.

 

‘Wait.’ Mickey said and Ian saw him edge closer to him. ‘Want a drink?

 

‘Sure’ Ian said, even though he knew it was a bad idea. He should be telling Mickey to go fuck himself.

 

‘Sit down then.’ Mickey said glancing at the chair by the desk and pouring Ian a drink. He handed it to him and stood directly in front of Ian leaning on the desk and smirked.

 

‘What are you doing?’ Ian said taking a sip of the drink and feeling a tingling up his spine.

 

‘Nothing.’ Mickey said and spread his legs a little. Ian swallowed. But looked away. ‘Gallagher’ Mickey said nudging Ian’s shoulder. ‘I’m just messing. What’s up?’

 

‘Nothing. Just tired I guess.’

 

‘Yeah.’ Mickey said kicking Ian playfully from where he was sat ‘been a long fucking day.’ Mickey said and Ian nodded. ‘I was actually going to give you a call.’ Mickey said.

 

Ian looked up at Mickey who was still sat on the edge of the desk in front of him. ‘Oh yeah?’

 

‘Yeah. I’m so used to you fucking nagging me most days. I guess it felt weird not to have heard from you.’

 

Ian wanted to correct Mickey and remind him that Ian had in fact been the last to text and that it was Mickey who had been radio silent. But Ian felt a little leap of joy that Mickey had noticed Ian’s lack of texting. Because usually Ian caved and texted again if Mickey didn’t reply. Which usually had the desired affect.

 

Ian took in the way Mickey was staring at him, want in his eyes. Fuck, Ian was really hating that his play Mickey at his own game had worked. But not as much as he was confident it meant Mickey was interested in him.

 

Ian stood up, ‘Well. As I said. Busy.’

 

‘Hmm.’ Mickey said finishing what was in his glass and placing it on the desk. He smirked ‘playing hard to get is getting me hard Gallagher.’

 

Ian moved the small distance between them and stood between Mickey’s legs, he grabbed his hips.

 

‘You want me to fuck you on this desk?’ Ian said filling alive with power now he knew he had made an impact on the guy. He couldn’t believe how Mickey could make him feel. One second he had written the guy off the next he is between his legs about to fuck him into next week.

 

Mickey chuckled low in his throat. ‘Or, you could fuck me against the window?’ Mickey said and licked at Ian’s throat.

 

‘You’re a fucking nightmare do you know that.’ Ian said, caving to his want and pulling Mickey down from the desk and pushing him face first against the window.

 

As they both swiftly pulled their pants down just enough to where they needed to Ian spoke again ‘you really don’t deserve how fucking good this is going to be either.’ He said getting a condom and packet of lube from his wallet and slicking himself up.

 

‘The fuck you talking about?’ Mickey said and Ian grabbed his hair, bending him forward, Mickey braced his hands on the glass.

 

‘Fucking text me back Mickey. Its not that hard.’ Ian said lining himself up. Whatever sarcastic remark Mickey was about to say was replaced by a load moan of pleasure.

 

***

 

It carried on like that for the next few weeks. Mickey got much better at texting back and Ian ignored the fact that they only really met up to fuck. Which was not very often and very rarely planned. One time he had been at Mandy’s when Mickey was visiting and they sucked each other off in the bathroom. Another time was at work drinks, they had played pool most of the evening but had barley spent any time alone before fucking in a bathroom stool. Ian had promised himself after that time that there was no more hooking up without going on a proper date, but had got a little too tipsy on champagne with some girls from work and very quickly found himself at Mickey’s Slamming deep inside the beautiful man.

 

What didn’t help was that he always woke alone having left Mickey at the bar, or at Mandy’s or found himself in a taxi back to his own apartment. He really needed to do something about this and soon. They had been fucking around for weeks now, and Ian just wanted some answers. Tonight was Mandy’s birthday party and Ian did not want to just get drunk and fuck Mickey again.

 

From Gallagher

Hey. You coming to Mandy’s tonight?

 

From Mick

She’s my fucking sister. What do you think?

 

From Gallagher

Right yeah. I just thought I’d check.

 

From Mick

Why. You miss me?

 

From Gallagher

No.

 

From Mick

No?

 

From Gallagher

Why do you miss me?

 

From Mick

Fuck off.

 

From Gallagher

See?

 

From Mick

What the fuck are you talking about.

 

From Gallagher

What’s the point in missing you? You don’t care.

 

From Mick

Jesus Ian why you acting like a girl?

 

From Gallagher

What does a girl act like?

 

From Mick

I’m not fucking doing this shit.

 

From Gallagher

Shocker.

 

He thought about what had happened between them so far. Mickey had gone on the date when he asked, and they hadn’t been on a proper date since for a number of reasons, not just because of Mickey not wanting to. And Mickey really had made and effort to text back more often. He was also opening up more and more. Telling Ian about his day. What he watched on TV. They had even argued about who was better Van Damme or Segal. It never really got resolved and was concluded with a text from Mickey that just said FUCK VAN DAMME! It wasn’t huge, not like the intimate on goings of each others minds and dreams like he would usually be at by now with his ex’s, but it was definitely progress.

 

On the other hand, Mickey was a closed book and Ian felt like he did it on purpose, like he purposely tried to shut him down. Mickey still did his stupid fucking mean shit to Ian when other people were around. Which Ian didn’t really mind because he now saw it for the playground flirting that it was, but he still didn’t understand what the fuck Mickey wanted or was playing at.

 

Mickey had said he didn’t date, so then why were they still speaking and fucking? The fucking always initiated by Mickey might Ian add. And why did Mickey seem to be clearly trying to make an effort when he showed no other sign what so ever of being interested in Ian being more than a fuck buddy? Or maybe he was trying to keep Ian sweet. So he had someone he knew he could click his fingers at and they would come running.

 

Ian put the phone down on the sink and checked himself in the mirror. Well that had gone brilliantly well. He was having a bit of internal crisis.

 

***

 

Ian had been at the party for a few hours when he finally got a moment alone with Mickey.

 

‘You still pissed at me?’ Mickey said smiling.

 

‘I wasn’t pissed at you’ Ian said trying to casually take a sip of his beer.

 

‘Ok. Are you done being a little bitch then?’

 

‘Fuck you.’ Ian said but couldn’t help smirk a little when Mickey nudged him with his shoulder. They stood in each other’s company for a while, Ian just enjoying being near him, feeling the warmth of Mickey’s body at his side. It kind of felt peaceful when Mickey was around. And Ian wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or Mickey’s presence that was giving him the buzz across his whole body. Probably both.

 

‘Look. I’m doing my best. Ok’ Mickey said and Ian turned to see him looking into his drink.

 

‘huh.’ Ian managed to get out.

 

‘I don’t know. How to like. Do this.’

 

‘Do what?’ Ian said trying to ignore the rapid fluttering of his heart.

 

‘All the shit I know you want from me.’

 

‘I don’t want anything from you.’ Ian said, not too worried at that the words sounded harsh. That was until he saw the look on Mickey’s face. It was confusion or pain. Whatever the hell the emotion was it made Ian feel like he had to say something.

 

‘Fine. Yes it would be nice if we could go and talk a bit, you know with a drink or a burger or something. And then fuck after.’ Ian said.

 

‘You just want another date?’ Mickey said, his eyebrow quirked.

 

‘It doesn’t have to be a date. I mean, we like text every day and fuck every time we see each other.’ Ian threw his hands in the air. ‘Jesus fuck, now I am acting like a fucking girl.’

 

‘What does a girl act like?’ Mickey said and they both laughed.

 

‘you’re such hard work you know that?’

 

‘I can do all the work tonight if you want.’ Mickey said and Ian smiled wondering if Mickey was saying what he thought he was. Ian just smiled and blushed into his drink.

 

‘You’re fucking cute when you do that you know.’ Mickey said almost as a whisper and Ian’s head shot up, his face hurting with the smile.

 

‘What did you just say,’?

 

‘Shut the fuck up.’

 

‘You just called me cute. Oh my God.’

 

‘Shut up. I’m drunk. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.’ Mickey said shaking his head but Ian didn’t let it drop for a good 5 minuetes until Mickey finally admitted defeat.

 

‘Fine fuck. I might have said you were cute but now you are being annoying as fuck!’ Making Ian laugh even more.

 

***

 

Whatever his plan earlier in the night had been it was definitely out of the window now that he was falling onto Mickey’s bed pulling the dark haired guy on top of him. But Mickey had been so cute and funny all night and they had both had just the right amount of alcohol to feel the benefits and not the cons. Just the silly, happy, I love the world and every song, super fucking horny, fuck me now kind of drunk.

 

‘Fuck’ Ian panted out as Mickey sucked at his neck. ‘I said I wasn’t gonna do this.’

 

‘Do what?’

 

‘Fuck you before we go on another date.’

 

‘What the hell kind of stupid plan is that?’ Mickey said undressing the both of them like a pro.

 

‘A great one. I aint no booty call Mickey.’ Ian said pulling the now naked Mickey on top of him and nibbling at his ear.

 

‘Who said you were a booty call?’ Mickey said.

 

‘Oh come on.’ Ian said rolling his eyes at what Mickey had said and the feel of their dicks rubbing against each other.

 

‘That what this is?’ Mickey said running his hands down Ian’s sides and lifting his legs so he could settle better inbetween them. Ian only obliged.

 

‘Is it not?’ Ian breathed out, scared of the answer.

 

‘No.’ Mickey said and Ian tensed, fighting a smile and failing. ‘Don’t make it a thing Ian.’

 

‘So what? You like me?’ Ian said trying to concentrate on his words but being distracted by the way Mickey was running his hands over his thighs.

 

‘I said don’t make it weird.’ Mickey said

 

‘So that’s a yes?’

 

‘Jesus yes. I fucking spend my life either texting or fucking you. It’s what I was trying to tell you earlier.’ Mickey said and carried on kissing Ian’s neck and teasing at his rock hard cock.

 

‘Well I mean. I do all the fucking here.’ Ian said trying to lighten the mood and contain the excitement he was feeling at Mickey just admitting this was definitely not just sex.

 

‘Well then let’s change that.’ Mickey said and Ian pulled him by the hair to look at his face.

 

‘You want to fuck me?’ Ian said.

 

‘Well if you’re asking.’ Mickey smirked.

 

‘I mean yeah. We just, we never have.’

 

‘You only top Red?’

 

‘Well usually. I mean.’ Ian looked down at his dick smiling and Mickey licked his lips before shaking his head.

 

‘It’s yes or no. You want me to fuck you or you don’t.’ Mickey said ghosting his mouth past Ian’s ear and biting on the lobe.

 

‘Yes. Fuck. I really want you to.’

 

‘Good.’ Mickey muttered as he reached for the lube and condom. Mickey slicked his fingers and started to work Ian open. ‘Fuck. You look really hot like this red.’ Mickey panted as Ian arched beneath him.

 

‘You make me fucking hot.’ Ian said clawing at Mickey’s back. ‘Now do it. I want to feel you inside me.’

 

‘Fuck.’ Mickey said moving back to roll on the condom on at lightning speed and begin to guide himself into a waiting Ian.

 

Ian hadn’t bottomed for a while, but he forgot how good it fucking felt. And now especially with Mickey. God he didn’t think their sex could get any hotter until now that he was trapped underneath Mickey as he bottomed out.

 

‘You Ok?’ Mickey said kissing at Ian’s neck, intimately Ian couldn’t help but notice.

 

‘Yeah. Good. Come on Mickey. Fuck me’ Ian said and he didn’t have to ask twice. Mickey thrust hard into Ian over and over again, the both of them moaning into each other’s mouths.

 

Ian felt like his whole body was alight, like he never wanted it to end. The smell of Mickey, the sound of his moans, the way his body felt against his and the way he perfectly filled Ian up.

 

‘Jesus. Fuck. I’m close.’ Mickey said and Ian pulled on his hair.

 

‘Come for me baby.’ Ian whispered and Mickey stiffened and trembled coming deep inside Ian with a load groan.

 

As the final jolts ran through Mickey’s body he looked up at Ian. ‘Baby? Seriously?’

 

‘It worked didn’t it.’ Ian smiled.

 

‘So fucking weird’ Mickey chuckled as he reached down and started jerking Ian’s leaking cock. Ian panted, feeling his own orgasm building. ‘Not got anything smart to say now have you?’ Mickey said picking up the pace.

 

‘Shut the fuck up.’ Ian moaned digging his fingers into Mickey’s shoulders.

 

‘Oh. Don’t be like that. Baby.’ Mickey whispered in Ian’s ear and that was it. He was fucking done for. He came over himself and Mickey in a sudden burst that shook his whole body.

 

‘Seems like you like it too.’ Mickey said rolling off Ian.

 

‘Hey. I’m happy to admit it.’ Ian said beginning to sit up and find his underwear.

 

‘Stay.’ Mickey said pulling back the duvet as he wiped the remains of their sex away from his chest with a t-shirt and threw it to Ian to do the same.

 

‘You want me to stay?’ Ian said watching Mickey climb into bed shaking his head.

 

‘I just fucking said didn’t I? Maybe tomorrow we can do that talking shit you wanted.’

 

‘It’s just called talking Mick.’

 

‘Whatever. Shut the fuck up and maybe I’ll buy you a burger too.’ Mickey said rolling onto his side and closing his eyes.

 

Ian smiled to himself before crawling in gently next to Mickey. He laid on his back staring at Mickey’s ceiling, not being able to help the smile on his face. He was so fucked and in all the best possible ways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Let me know your thoughts. I love reading comments and talking with you guys! It helps me vent out my angst and also helps heal my heart.


	4. March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey finally spend some time getting to know each other. Ian is really starting to like what he sees. Maybe him and Mickey could really work out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Fluff Fluff Fluff. Hope you like it.

After the night Mickey asked Ian to stay over there was a definite change. They had gone out to get breakfast the next morning and talked. About lots of different things. Family, college, work. Never anything too close to what was going on between them or their relationship status. But this was enough for Ian right now. Mickey was making a conscious effort. That's all he needed, one step at a time. 

 

A few weeks in and it wasn't that Ian was getting complacent. It was just that the progress had sort of stopped. Yes they went out to diners to grab lunch sometimes. Or to the bar for drinks before going back to Mickey's and doing what they do best. But there was no change. No movie or dinner dates, not even lazy days around the apartment after staying up and fucking all night. 

 

And that was the problem. The fucking was just too goddamn good and it blinded Ian from the reality of his situation. Anytime he was left wandering if Mickey even liked him, the guy would kiss his neck or run a hand down his side and Ian would go blank. Mickey Milkovich was like a fucking drug, the best kind of distraction. Ian hated it but he wanted whatever he could get. So he kind of just kept quiet. Enjoying the time he did get with Mickey and making the most of it. Even if it did make him feel like a pussy! 

 

***

 

'Christ Mickey' Ian said as the dark haired man pulled off his shirt. 'I'm trying to have a conversation with you.' 

 

'Why does that mean I have to be dressed?' Mickey said undoing his pants. 

 

'Because I’m trying to tell you about this bitch Lacy from work who keeps giving me shit and your just thinking about my dick'

 

'Well. Now I’m thinking about your dick.' Mickey smiled. Heading across the room to where Ian was. 'But I was actually going to take a shower. It's been a pretty fucked up week and my back hurts.' 

 

'Oh.' Ian said trying to keep a straight face. Regardless of whether it was about sex or not, Mickey still wasn't paying attention to him. 

 

'And as for Lacy. That bitch has had two official warnings anyway. You put in one complaint to me and she's gone.' Mickey ran a hand up Ian's leg and Ian tried to resist but breathed out a little. He couldn’t tell if it was Mickey's hand or the fact that he had clearly been listening to Ian. Ian was so mad that he was so turned on by the fact Mickey was interested in him. He was so fucking gone on this guy and it meant he just forgot in a second why he might be mad. Mickey grabbed Ian’s cock through his jeans and squeezed. 

 

'I thought you were gonna take a shower?' Ian said through stuttered breaths. 

 

'You gonna make me go alone?' 

***

 

Ian ran his soapy hands over his lovers back, drinking in the way he was leaning with him palms pressed against the tiles and his head slunk between his shoulders. He felt intoxicated by the feel of Mickeys skin and the gentle moans of pleasure he let out as Ian rubbed the tension from his shoulders.

 

‘Fuck Gallagher. Feels good.’ Mickey said.

 

‘mmm’ Ian said getting entranced by the motion of his hands.

 

‘Hey’ Mickey said gently turning to face Ian. He rubbed at Ian’s shoulders now instead and looked into his eyes. ‘What’s the matter Red?’

 

Ian didn’t know what to say, he felt so happy and warm in this steam filled shower. The hot water from the giant showerhead beating down on both of them. It felt amazing. But he also hated the fact that he knew the cold world was waiting the other side of the fogged glass doors. The one where he waited for Mickey to take things further but knowing he never really would. Never really could.

 

He looked up to see Mickey staring at him with his head tilted to one side, a strand of jet-black hair hanging in front of his face, dripping slightly. It made Ian’s breath stop, how beautiful this man was. Ian leaned back against the wall and Mickey boxed him in.

 

‘Seriously what’s wrong?’ Mickey said in a voice he had ever really heard Mickey use, it was soft, caring, genuinely concerned. He put a hand on Ian’s face and ran a thumb across his lip.

 

‘I’m fine. Sorry’ Ian said looking at Mickey and puling him close by the waist. ‘I’m just distracted.’ Ian finished and smiled gently.

 

Mickey leaned in and kissed Ian and the red head felt it all the way to his toes. The power of one kiss still almost knocked him off of his feet. He didn’t know someone could actually make you feel this way.

 

Mickey pulled away slowly and kept his face as close to Ian’s as possible.

 

‘I really like you’ Mickey all but whispered as if he knew that’s what Ian needed to hear. He went in for another kiss, pinning Ian to the wall and running his hands over Ian’s body. Ian could tell he was trying to communicate something. Trying to tell Ian how he felt, hopefully.

 

Ian smiled into the kiss and pulled Mickey toward him a little more. If that was even possible. When he felt Mickey’s hard dick rub against his own he let out a deep moan.

 

Mickey pulled back and raised an eyebrow before licking his lips.

 

‘I thought we were having a moment here Gallagher?’ Mickey said, his other brow raising too.

 

‘A moment?’ Ian said.

 

‘Yeah a fucking moment.’ Mickey smiled and pushed a loose hair out of Ian’s face. Ian tried not to let it show but he felt light headed. He and Mickey had had a moment. Whatever the fuck that meant. It was a moment. So who cared. He was taking that as a win.

 

Ian smiled so wide he worried his face might split, ‘not my rock hard dick that ruined it.’

 

‘My dick ruined it?’

 

‘No.’ Ian said biting his lip.

 

Mickey made an almost hungry noise as he went in for another kiss, biting the lip Ian just was. Ian was so caught up in the kiss he didn’t notice Mickey’s hand move until he felt it wrap around his dick.

 

‘Fuck.’ He breathed out.

 

‘You’re so fucking hot Red’ Mickey said and Ian’s head spun. Mickey pushed his hips forward grabbing his own cock against Ian’s and jerking them together.

 

‘Mick’ Ian all but whimpered.

 

Mickey put all his energy into jerking the both of them off, a hand at the back of Ian’s head pulling at his hair. Both boys panted into each others mouths as the hot water poured down on them. Ian felt like he was where he wanted to be forever. This was utter bliss.

 

Mickey let out a particularly pleasured moan and Ian knew he was close. His hand became unnaturally fast and he pulled even harder at Ian’s hair.

 

‘So fucking hot.’ Mickey said as he released all over his hand and the two of them. He slowed his paced and pulled his hips away but kept rubbing his hand up and down Ian’s length. ‘I want you to cum for me.’ Mickey said licking across Ian’s lips and his head fell back. But Mickey pulled it forward again forcefully. ‘I want to watch you cum for me.’ Mickey bit his own lip now and looked at Ian’s face, his eyes filled with fire. ‘Can you do that for me Ian?’

 

Ian nodded his head in a daze. And tried to close his eyes again as he felt his orgasm build.

 

‘Keep your eyes open,’ Mickey said and he stared into his Ian’s. Ian obliged and let a moan escape his lips. Mickey ran a thumb across Ian’s mouth again and he took it in sucking on it. Mickey’s eyes went wild with heat and he picked up the pace of his hand. ‘Now,’ Mickey whispered. Ian couldn’t help but follow the command and released all over Mickey’s chest, his whole body trembling as he did so, giving in and letting his eyes close.

 

He heard Mickey gasp as he continued to pump every last drop out of him, ‘fucking Christ Gallagher.’

 

Ian just laughed, ‘what?’

 

‘You’re gonna be the fucking death of me.’ Mickey chuckled and gave Ian another kiss.

 

They finished up in the shower, neither really saying a word, but smirking at each other like teenagers.

 

***

 

Ian stared down at the pair of sweats that Mickey just threw onto the bed in front of him.

 

‘What’s this?’

 

‘Something to fucking wear’ Mickey said pulling on a pair himself, ‘it’s still pretty early, thought we could watch a movie.’

 

‘Huh’ Ian said smiling and pulling them on.

 

‘What the fuck is it now Firecrotch?’

 

‘Nothing’ Ian said smiling and leaning against the dresser.

 

‘Spit it the fuck out,’ Mickey said boxing him in.

 

‘Usually you just want to fuck and then sleep.’

 

‘So?’

 

‘So, now you want a movie night.’

 

‘You always have to make shit such a big fucking deal?’ Mickey said and kissed Ian’s neck.

 

‘Yes. I do.’

 

‘You stay here all the time. What’s the big fucking deal?’

 

‘You let me sleep here. But this is like, this is progress.’ Ian said sighing at the tongue running up his neck.

 

‘It’s just a fucking movie.’

 

‘Sure it is.’ Ian said dragging Mickey’s mouth to his own and trying not to be too obvious about the fact his heart was exploding in his chest.

 

They put on some action flick that Ian didn’t really care about. He was more enjoying just sitting with Mickey, it felt so right just sat with him on the sofa. He edged closer to the dark haired guy a few minutes in. Mickey just rolled his eyes before pulling Ian close and letting him snuggle there.

 

Ian lay with his head in Mickey’s lap smiling as basking in the wave of the happiness that ran over his whole body. He shuddered a little when Mickey started to absent-mindedly run a hand through his hair. Ian had done stuff like this a million times before. And that had always been nice, comfortable. But this, this felt like how things should always be. Like the answer to every question he had ever had. He felt like he just realised a whole part of him had been missing, but was finally found now he was here snuggled with Mickey on the sofa watching a shitty movie. Ian knew what he was feeling, he knew what it meant but he had to push it back, for now. He had only just got Mickey to sit on a fucking couch with him, there is no way Mickey was even close to being where he was at.

 

When the film credits rolled Ian felt a little tug on his shoulder and he sat up to look at Mickey who had sleepy eyes.

 

‘Come here,’ Mickey whispered and pulled Ian into a kiss. Ian felt as though he was meting into the other boy.

 

Mickey shifted to lie down and pulled Ian on top of him. Ian’s mouth barely left the boy underneath his as he adjusted to the new position. They made out like teenagers. Running their hands gently over each other and just enjoying the feel of their bodies against the other. Ian never wanted the moment to be over, he loved the soft way Mickey was kissing him and the soft flickering of the TV in the dark room.

 

They kissed like that for what could have been an hour before it started to heat up. Ian pushed his groin against Mickey’s and they both quietly moaned. He pulled Mickey into a seated position on the couch and stood up. Ian’s body was in control now not his brain; he was too caught up in the moment to over think anything. He knelt down in front of Mickey and pulled off his sweats. Mickey just looked at him with blown out eyes.

 

He then stood up and pulled off his own pair before straddling Mickey. He kissed him again and started rocking down onto his groin.

 

Mickey leaned across to the table next to the sofa and pulled out a condom and a packet of lube. He didn’t even smile his usual cheeky grin, just handed them to Ian and went straight back in for another deep kiss. Ian was revelling in the intensity. There was nothing playful about this like their usual fucking sessions; this was not a fucking power game. This was heat, this was passion, and this was something bigger than Ian could remember ever feeling.

 

Ian grabbed the lube and slicked up his fingers. Mickey went to move but Ian held him down with the other hand. Mickey looked at Ian confused for a moment before Ian reached down and slipped a finger into himself. Mickey took in a sharp breath, his eyes moving down to what Ian was doing as he bit his lip.  

 

Ian carried on working himself open as he let Mickey watch the show he was putting on for him. Mickey reached for the condom but Ian pushed his chest again and Mickey raised his hands in a silent surrender. Ian removed his fingers from himself and grabbed the condom tearing it open with his teeth, Mickey put his hands on Ian’s hips and squeezed hard as Ian rolled the condom onto him, stoking Mickey a few times to get a small moan out of him.

 

Ian leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to Mickey’s mouth. Mickey tried to lean into it but Ian yet again held him back. Ian lifted his hips and slowly sunk down onto Mickey.

 

‘Ian’ Mickey all but whimpered grabbing hard enough onto Ian’s hips to leave bruises.

 

Ian placed his thumb over Mickey’s mouth to silence him and began to roll his hips, taking full control over the moment. Mickey exhaled and let his head fall back onto the sofa.

 

Ian felt his thighs burning in the best way as he rode Mickey into the sofa, relishing the moans escaping form the dark haired man. Ian licked up the side of Mickey’s neck and he started to slam down even harder. Mickey was totally gone by this point; not even attempting to relinquish control and just letting Ian ride him.

 

Ian ghosted his mouth over Mickey’s ear and whispered ‘touch me’ before biting down on the lobe. Mickey’s head practically swayed at the command as another deep moan filled the room. He brought his hand onto Ian’s dick and Ian could swear the dark haired boy was trembling. All thoughts of why quickly disappeared when the shot of pleasure ran through Ian at Mickeys touch.

 

Ian rolled his hips in time with Mickey’s hand movements forcing himself to reach his climax as quickly as possible, it wasn’t hard when he felt Mickey’s dick brush against that perfect spot inside him and before long he was cumming between them.

 

He let the orgasm shake through his body as he bit down on Mickey’s neck. But this wasn’t over; he needed to find his focus. He started to roll his hips again and sat up a little to look at Mickey who was staring at him like he was hypnotised. Ian slammed back down onto him again and Mickey’s hands were back on Ian’s hips.

 

‘Jesus Ian’ Mickey stuttered and he smiled at the almost shock in Mickey’s voice. Ian hadn’t felt like this in a long time. Wanting to rush past his own orgasm so he could relish in his partners. Wanting to utterly destroy the man underneath him. It was working and it made Ian feel like he was king of the fucking world.

 

Mickey was a panting mess under Ian as he pulled his head back by the hair and attacked his neck. He might have been concerned about the way Mickey’s breath seemed laboured if the dark hair boy wasn’t puncturing each exhale with a ‘Fuck’.

Mickey’s moans became frantic, his mouth open, eyes closed and most likely completely out of it. Ian kept the steady pace going as he started down at his lover, breathing in every second of this. Embracing his total intoxication.

 

Mickey breathed out one last fuck before his whole body shook and Ian rode Mickey through his orgasm. Mickey gave Ian’s hips one last rough squeeze before his whole body went limp.

 

Ian felt a trickle of sweat run down his chest as he caught his own breath. He smirked down at the mess that was Mickey Milkovich underneath him before climbing off and rolling to sit next to Mickey.

 

‘What the….. how did…..fucking Christ’ Mickey said but it was clear he couldn’t think coherently let alone speak.

 

‘I think we need to get you to bed’ Ian said chuckling and dragging a stumbling Mickey to the bedroom and pushing him down onto it.

 

He climbed in next to the broken man and laid on his side to watch him. When Mickey finally opened his eyes he looked at Ian, still panting.

 

‘I think I blacked the fuck out.’ Mickey said and Ian just chuckled.

 

‘Go to sleep’ Ian said and leaned down to press a soft kiss to Mickey’s mouth. But Mickey grabbed the back of his head and held him in place so he could deepen the kiss.

 

He finally released him and looked into Ian’s eyes, ‘can I keep you?’ Mickey said before closing his eyes. Ian just smiled and laid back down, knowing that what Mickey had said was just playful. He did everything he could to stop himself from telling Mickey that he could have him forever.

 

***

 

 

Ian and Mickey started to hang out at Mickey’s place more often, messing around in the mornings making pancakes. Well, Ian would throw flour at Mickey because he thought the dark haired guy looked cute and Mickey would just pout and say ‘fuck you that’s what’s cute.’

 

Mickey even went to the movies with Ian and he barely had to beg, let alone suck his dick like he normally did to get what he wanted. Ian was even doing better at work, and when his colleagues asked about the spring in his step he would just smirk and give them a wink. He never in a million years thought that would be because of Micky Milkovich.

 

Ian found himself smiling as he rested his head on Mandy’s sofa. He gladly took the beer from Mandy’s hand as she sat down on the sofa next to him.

 

‘Lacy still being a complete bitch to you?’ She said.

 

‘Um, she got moved to a different department.’

 

‘Really?’ Mandy said quirking an eyebrow.

 

‘Yep.’ Ian said trying to hide his knowing smile. He couldn’t be sure, but it would be a huge coincidence if the girl who was making his life miserable had been moved elsewhere in the company a few days after he had mentioned her attitude problem to Mickey.

 

He was brought out of his daze when Mandy kicked him.

 

‘Ow. The fuck was that for.’

 

‘You always being too busy to see me recently.’ She said.

 

‘What are you talking about. I’m here now am I not?’ He said rubbing his leg dramatically.

 

‘Barely. Plus, you keep spacing out an not listening to a damn word I’m saying.’

 

‘Not true.’ He said and frowned.

 

‘Don’t pull that fucking puppy dog shit with me’ Mandy said raising her brow and Ian felt a flutter in his stomach because it reminded him of Mickey. ‘I forgive you though.’ She smirked and took a swig of her beer.

 

‘And why is that?’

 

‘Because you’re obviously just fucking love drunk.’

 

‘Am not’ Ian said pushing his best friend. He didn’t really know how to go down this road with Mandy.

 

‘Don’t talk shit. You totally are. I always know everything.’

 

‘Fuck off no you don’t.’

 

‘Oh so that’s not where you always are? Fucking and staying up all night talking and messing around and making out like fucking teenagers?’ Mandy said and Ian couldn’t really deny any of it. Because that’s exactly what he had been doing. He loved how she could read him like a book.

 

Ian just smiled and shook his head. He really didn’t want to get into the ins and outs of his new, relationship, if that’s what you could call it, with Mandy’s fucking brother and he was honestly surprised she even brought it up.

 

‘I knew it’ she said smiling wide. ‘He better be the best fuck of your life to be taking you away from me.’

 

‘Mandy!’ Ian said choking on his beer a little. No fucking way was he talking about fucking her brother.

 

‘What. When did you become such a prude?’

 

‘I’m not. Its just.’ Ian looked at her confused.

 

‘What, you’re too in love this time?’ Mandy teased and Ian just bit his lip at the mention of that L word again. ‘Fine fine. What ever’ Mandy continued, ‘I’m just glad you’re over that little thing with my brother.’ She finished and stood up to get some pretzels from the kitchen.

 

‘What?’ Ian said his heart sinking.

 

‘I mean Mickey is great. But not at all what you need. I’m just glad you didn’t get in too deep.’

 

‘What do I need?’ is all Ian could say, suddenly panicking about how he was going to tell Mandy it was Mickey, but also hoping to use the opportunity to get information out of her.

 

‘The stuff you got with the new guy, talking, a connection. All that gay shit.’ She scoffed and then winked when Ian rolled his eyes. ‘Look my brothers not a big talker.’

 

‘You said he liked me at New Years’ Ian said.

 

‘Like that makes a difference with my brother. He has the emotional capacity of a toddler.’ She said and started laughing. ‘He’d pussy out as soon as you did your clingy shit. It’s what he always does.’

 

Ian just sat there taking in what his best friend said. Mickey hadn’t pussied out, if anything he was doing the opposite. He felt a pinch of anger towards his best friend for saying a bad word towards Mickey. But then he remembered she couldn’t possibly know that, in fact, Mickey purposely hid his personal life from his family.

 

They spent the rest of the day hanging out and Ian tried his hardest to avoid any questions about his new guy. Mandy pushed and he found out the best thing to do was to answer as many questions as he could to seem like he wasn’t avoiding anything, but do what he could to not mention anything Mandy might not want to know about her brother. Such as how good he is with his dick, a question she was insistent on knowing the answer to.

 

They were both laying on the floor passing the last beer between each other when there was a knock at the door. Mandy sat up slowly and the knocking became more insistent.

 

‘I’m fucking coming JEEZ.’ Mandy said and stomped to the door.

 

‘It’s fucking raining bitch’ Ian heard and shot up to turn and see the owner of the voice, he was met by the bright blue eyes he spent most of his time thinking about.

 

‘Sup Red’ Mickey smiled and Ian almost choked at how beautiful Mickey looked with his rain soaked hair.

 

‘What do you want?’ Mandy said getting her brother a beer.

 

‘Had to bring you this shit from Iggy’ Mickey said throwing some files down on the table. ‘Don’t panic, I’m not fucking staying.’

 

Mandy looked through the files and sighed ‘Jesus, he’s done all of this fucking wrong. Why doesn’t he use a computer. Who the fuck handwrites shit anymore. It’s not the eighteen hundreds.’

 

‘It’s Iggy, he cant barley switch on a fucking lamp.’ Mickey said taking a swig of his beer.

 

‘Whatever, I’m gonna go put these in my office. Can I leave you two alone without killing each other?’ Mandy said and Ian nodded.

 

As soon as she left Ian turned to face Mickey.

 

‘Hey’ Mickey said and pulled Ian in for a kiss. His lips were cold and it felt amazing.

 

‘Stop. I need to speak to you.’ Ian said pushing Mickey away but keeping him as close as he could. ‘Mandy knows about new years.’ He said as fast as he could knowing Mandy would be back any second. Mickey just looked at him. ‘Yeah, she knows about New Years, but that doesn’t matter, she knows I’ve been like, seeing someone or whatever, well, she knows that like I’ve been with someone a lot doing, you know, what we do.’

 

‘Ian, get to the point’

 

‘Sorry. Anyway. She thinks that person is not you. Kinda said she didn’t think you could cope with my clinginess.’ Ian looked up and Mickey quirked his top lip ‘but I didn’t tell her it was you and now I don’t know what to say. Plus I don’t know if you want her to know it was you and I didn’t know what to do and I sort of. Fuck. I’m not sure what the deal is with her. Cause obviously she knows about you, but I don’t know if you like talk to her about it and like. Cause of who I am you might want to keep it a secret, but I kinda don’t want to lie to her because she’s my friend and I wanted to talk to you first.’

 

Mickey put a hand over Ian’s mouth and shook his head.

‘Mandy!’ he shouted and looked over his shoulder.

 

Mandy came walking into the room doing up her zipper. ‘I was in the fucking bathroom. What?’ She said staring at Mickey who was now standing in front of her.

 

‘The guy Ian’s fucking,’ He said and Mandy looked at Ian.

 

‘Yeah. What about him?’

 

‘That would be me.’ Mickey said and both Milkoviches turned to look at Ian who just sat there terrified to move.

 

‘I’m sorry Mandy, I should have said something.’ Ian said, speaking just a fast as before ‘But you just sort of presumed it wasn’t him and thought that we wouldn’t be good so I didn’t know what to say. And I was just telling Mickey I didn’t know what the deal was or if he was ok with you knowing’

 

Mandy turned to look at her brother ‘he talk as much when he’s with you?’

 

‘Never shuts the fuck up’ Mickey said and Mandy smiled.

 

‘Does that not do your head in Mick?’

 

‘I figured out a good way to shut him up’ Mickey smiled and Mandy just shook her head.

 

‘Gross dude that’s my best friend’

 

‘He really does though’ Ian said now staring like a puppy dog at his best friend and friend who was a boy, that he was fucking, or whatever he called him.

 

‘Even more gross. That’s my brother.’ Mandy said throwing a piece of popcorn at Ian and sitting back down on the sofa.

 

‘Sorry.’ Ian smiled and Mandy just rolled her eyes.

 

‘You hungry?’ Mickey said and Mandy turned excitedly to her brother.

 

‘Not you bitch’ he frowned and turned to Ian.

 

‘You can steal him from me.’ Mandy shouted.

 

‘You’ve had him all day.’ Mickey spat.

 

Ian chuckled as he got up to get his jacket, ‘come on guys. Learn to share’ Ian said walking to the door and dragging Mickey with him.

 

‘Fuck off,’ Mickey and Mandy said in unison.

 

‘I’ll text you’ Ian said winking.

 

‘Whatever bitch’ Mandy shouted as Ian closed the door behind him.

 

***

 

‘So you took me out to dinner?’ Ian said smiling and cutting into his steak.

 

‘You’re too easily impressed you know that?’ Mickey smirked taking a mouthful of his own food.

 

‘This is amazing.’ Ian said and Mickey nodded, ‘no seriously Mick, you have to try this steak. Its smooth as goddamn butter.’

 

‘Nah man its cool.’ Mickey said and cut into a potato.

 

‘Go on.’ Ian said ‘ You can cut a piece yourself, I’m not going to try and feed it to you like lady and the tramp.’

 

‘That’s not what happened in lady and the tramp.’ Mickey smiled.

 

‘You know what the fuck I mean Mickey. Just try it.’

 

‘I cant.’ Mickey sort of whisper-mumbled and flicked his nose with his thumb.

 

‘Why?’ Ian scoffed.

 

‘I don’t eat meat.’ Mickey said avoiding eye contact and sipping at his wine.

 

‘I think you’ll find you do’ Ian said wiggling his brows and Mickey just shook his head but smirked a little. ‘Sorry. That was too easy.’ Ian took another bite and studied the guy in front of him. ‘So what do you mean you don’t eat meat? Like from a restaurant. Are you really picky, only organic and prepared by you?’ He smiled.

 

‘No. Like. Not at all.’

 

‘What do you mean?’ Ian said.

 

‘I’m a vegetarian.’ Mickey said finally running a hand through his hair and Ian laughed so loud the people at the next table turned to look at him.

 

‘Are you fucking serious?’

 

‘Yes.’ Mickey said clearing uncomfortable with the conversation.

 

‘But. I don’t… Why?’ Ian said completely confused by this information. He couldn’t figure out how, one, he didn’t know this already and two, why the hell someone like Mickey would be a vegetarian.

 

‘Lots of reasons. But you know. We don’t have to eat animals anymore, and we can make great food without it. Just, don’t think we fucking should or some shit.’ Mickey pointed his fork at Ian, ‘just don’t fucking tell anyone ok. No one needs to know.’

 

Ian’s smile was huge as he shook his head ‘You doing it for the animals Mick?’

 

‘Shut the fuck up.’ Mickey said going back to his food. ‘Shouldn’t fucking hurt things just cause we can?’ He said and took a swig from his wine.

 

The words hit Ian like a truck and he just watched Mickey as he ate. There were so many hidden depths to this guy, every time he thought he had seen most of it he’d learn something new and realise he had only just scratched the fucking surface.

 

‘You’re amazing.’ Ian said. He didn’t know he was going to. His mouth moved before he even had a chance to make the decision.

 

‘Shut up Red’ Mickey said swirling his wine in his glass but Ian could see the hint of a smile.

 

‘You gonna make me’ Ian smiled back and Mickey looked up with both eyebrows raised.

 

‘You want me too?’ Mickey said putting his fork down smiling again.

 

They sat in charged silence for a while just grinning at each other. They did this a lot. Like smitten fucking kids. But Ian didn’t care. He wanted to fucking smile at Mickey, so he was going to.

 

‘So. You’re a vegetarian chef?’

 

‘I’m not a chef.’ Mickey said.

 

‘But you’d like to be.’ Ian said, and he didn’t make it s question.

 

‘Nah man. Maybe open my own restaurant or something. Who the fuck knows.’

 

‘Sounds like a great idea.’

 

‘Yeah. That’s how it will most likely stay.’

 

‘Doesn’t have to.’ Ian said and stared at the dark haired guy in front of him.

 

‘Yeah sure thing, Ian. I’ll just tell my dad I’m opening up a restaurant. That will go down well’ Mickey mocked.

 

Ian didn’t respond straight away. He wanted to tell Mickey to fight for his dream but he also knew it wasn’t his place. This was not a conversation for right now.

 

‘Probably wouldn’t work anyway’ Ian said trying to keep a straight face and Mickey snapped his head up to look at Ian, ‘your customers are going to expect steak in a restaurant.’

 

‘Not if it’s a vegetarian restaurant. I’d like to attract a more cultured crowd.’ Mickey grinned as he leant back in his chair.

 

‘Oh, you mean hipster dickheads?’ Ian said mirroring Mickey’s stance.

 

‘Oh fuck off Gallagher. What do you know?’ Mickey said throwing his hands into the air and returning to his food.

 

Ian stayed where he was and watched Mickey yet again. He liked him when he was grumpy and passionate about something. He shook his head and smiled to himself as he thought about how fucking wrong he had been about this guy for so long. And how stupid he had been for not seeing that everything he had always been looking for had been right in front of his face for a fucking long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is gonna get real in the next chapter. Dun dun dun. 
> 
> Never can be too easy for these boys.
> 
>  
> 
> Find me on   
> twitter @lemon3ruby   
> Tumblr gemmavichblr


	5. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mandy plants some very unhelpful seeds in Ian's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!

  
Everything was going amazingly well. Ian didn’t have to hide anything from Mandy anymore which was great because she didn’t ever ask him about how things were going with Mickey. She clearly didn’t want to know anything about Ian and her brother and what they do with each other’s dicks.  
  
He was staying at Mickey’s quite often too. Once or twice a week any way. Which he was pretty happy with.

He had his own room at the Gallagher house, but it wasn’t totally ideal for a grown man. He really had no excuse to still be there after so long. But he had kind of got settled and was a bit, ok maybe a lot, caught up on Mickey.  
  
He felt happy for the first time in a long time and sort of just put finding a place to the bottom of the priority list. Plus, he was saving more money than he ever had and thought to himself that the more he could save the better position he would be in. Why fix something if it isn’t broken right?

Things were going well with Mickey. He was happy at work, and he liked being at home with his family. For the first time in a long time he wasn't over thinking things. Wasn't planning what was going to happen next.   
  
The sound of the alarm clock pulled him out of his intense morning thoughts. He felt Mickey stir next to him so he turned to press his body against Mickey’s back and ran a hand down his side.  
  
‘Fuck Red. You ever not horny?’ Mickey mumbled.  
  
‘That’s rich coming from you’ Ian said grabbing at Mickey’s half hard dick.  
  
‘Mmmm’ Mickey purred ‘guess we better do something about that.’  
  
Ian didn’t wait a second before he was flipping Mickey and getting to work.  
  
***  
  
‘Jesus fuck. Right there’ Mickey said as he reached back to pull at Ian's hair.  
  
Ian ran a hand from Mickey’s thigh, up his sides and to his neck. He held on tight causing Mickey to let out another moan.  
  
Ian didn’t know how much longer he could last, he felt light headed, something that still amazed him every time him and Mickey fucked.  
  
‘Mickey. God. I’m gonna……. Fuck’ Ian shouted as he came hard and falling on top of the dark haired guy below him. He panted a few breaths into Mickey’s hair before turning him over and swallowing down his leaking cock.  
  
‘Ian…. fuck… yes’ Mickey screamed as Ian bobbed his head, moaning at the sound of his name. Something that felt just as amazing every time it happened. He didn’t think he’d ever get sick of hearing Mickey say his name.  
Ian pulled his mouth of and jerked Mickeys dick just the way he liked it.  
  
‘Come on baby’ Ian whispered as he leant up to bite at Mickey’s lip. It had the desired effect when he looked down to watch Mickey cumming between the two of them.  
  
Ian fell down next to him on the bed.  
  
‘You need to stop with that baby shit man.’ Mickey said between breaths.  
  
‘I’ll stop saying it when it stops working’ Ian smirked as he stood up to head to the bathroom. All he got in return was a ‘fuck off’ followed by a satisfied chuckle from Mickey.  
  
***  
  
Ian grabbed his coffee and went to join Mandy by their usual window seat.  
  
‘What’s that fucking smug look on your face about?’ she said, eyeing him suspiciously.  
  
‘Nothing’ he said taking a sip of his latte.  
  
‘No one is that fucking happy at eight thirty am on a Friday morning.’  
  
‘Just looking forward to the weekend’  
  
‘Whatever’ she shook her head ‘you’re a terrible liar’  
  
‘Sometimes I need to lie’ he smirked.  
  
‘And why is that?’ she raised an eyebrow.  
  
‘You do not want to know why I’m really smiling.’  
  
‘Jesus Ian!’ Mandy said putting down her blueberry muffin. ‘I really don’t want to know about your fucking morning sex with my brother when I’m trying to eat.’  
  
‘You asked’ he said crossing his arms and Mandy just shook her head. ‘You have a problem with me fucking Mickey?’  
  
‘You know I do.’  
  
‘Wait. What?’  
  
‘I told you before. He can’t be what you need.’  
  
‘Then why the fuck didn’t you say anything when he told you.’ Ian said totally taken back by this information.  
  
‘Because you’re grown ass men. I can’t tell either of you who to fuck or not.’  
  
‘But you think it’s a mistake?’  
  
‘Oh. Huge. But you will have to learn that the hard way.’ She finished taking another bite of her muffin.  
  
‘You don’t know that.’  
  
‘Um. Yes I do. He’s my brother’  
  
‘But maybe I get to see a different side to him’ Ian frowned.  
  
‘Oh Ian’ she smiled knowingly ‘he’s never gonna change. He cant.’ She said, her smile dropping slightly at the words.  
  
‘Maybe it's different with me?’  
  
‘It isn’t.’ She said matter of fact.   
  
‘You said yourself you were surprised he told you about us. Surprised he let me stay over at his.’ Ian said still bewildered by what his best friend was saying.   
  
‘Yeah, but that’s not a relationship Ian. That’s not enough.’ She said.  
  
‘How do you know?’  
  
‘Look, you’re the kind of guy who wants to move in together, get married. Have him meet your family and have loads of babies. Even you know that Mickey would never do that.’ She said shaking her head.  
  
‘We only just started things. I can do casual you know.’ He said but could tell she wasn't convinced. 'Of course he's not ready for that sort of thing yet'  
  
‘And he never will be.’ Mandy interrupted ‘What has it been? 3 months? You haven’t fucked anyone else. You spend all your time together.’  
  
‘Exactly’ Ian chimed in.  
  
‘No. I mean even after all that time. You ever been around anyone else? Spent time together not in private or just with each other?’  
  
‘No but’  
  
‘But nothing.’ She said with finality. ‘You couldn’t even get him to sit here with me and you. And I know about the two of you.’  
  
‘I could’ Ian said hearing the childishness of his own voice.  
  
‘Oh yeah? So why have you never asked him to?’ Mandy said raising an eyebrow.  
  
‘I…. because’ he stuttered.   
  
‘Because even though you don’t want to admit it, you know he wouldn’t fucking come.’ She said rolling her eyes now at Ian’s blatant naivety.  
  
‘He might.’ Is all Ian could think to say and Mandy just shook her head. ‘What do you want me to do? Not even try. I really like him Mands’  
  
‘That’s what I’m fucking worried about.’ She said and turned to look out of the window.  
  
Ian just took another sip of his coffee and they both sat in the quiet, watching the city slickers walk past, before they too had to head into the office.  
  
***  
  
Ian left work and headed to Mickey’s. He was beyond tired after a day of analysing over and over what Mandy had said. He felt emotionally drained and more confused than ever. He had been trying not to over think things. Well today that had gone out of the window.

He had been staying at Mickey’s most Fridays though and the thought of not seeing him was much worse than the thought of not sleeping.  
  
'Hey man, come in' Mickey said running back towards the kitchen as soon as he opened the door.  
  
'Hey’ Ian sighed.  
  
'Wo! What’s up your ass, cause I know it aint me' Mickey laughed stirring the pot on the stove.   
  
'Nothing.' Ian said and tried his best to smile.  
  
'Ok.' Mickey returned to cooking, a wary look still on his face.   
  
'What’s that?' Ian said leaning against the counter.  
  
'Vegetable chilli'   
  
'Smells good,' he said, a real smile reaching his face even though his body slumped against the cupboards.   
  
'Cheers man.' Mickey eyed him suspiciously 'You hungry?'   
  
'Sure’ Ian said making his way to the table and letting Mickey plate him up some food.   
  
'You ever cook for anyone else?' Ian said after a while. They hadn’t been speaking much, but that didn’t mean Ian’s brain wasn’t whirring still with thoughts about what Mandy had said. What all of this food meant. What Mickey was thinking.  
  
'You mean like other guys?' Mickey said.  
  
'Yeah? Or like I don’t know. Your family?'   
  
'Um. Maybe Mandy a few times.'  
  
'Right.' Ian nodded taking another bite. As usual it was delicious. 'She’d probably like this'   
  
'Bitch eats anything I put in front of her' Mickey smiled, clearly trying to lighten the mood.  
  
'Does she come here a lot?'  
  
'Yeah I guess'   
  
'What do you guys do together?'   
  
'I don’t know. She mostly just annoys the fuck outta me.' Mickey said clearly getting confused about where Ian was going with this.  
  
‘You ever go out and do anything together?'   
  
'Ian what the fuck are you on about?' Mickey finally said.  
  
'Just wanted to ask you about Mandy.' Ian sighed knowing he hadn’t been as discreet as he would like.  
  
'You want to know shit about that bitch ask her. You want me to get her down here' he laughed shovelling in some food.   
  
'So you would invite her over with me here?' Ian said snapping his eyes up.  
  
'Seriously Ian, what the fuck are you on about?'   
  
'Sorry’ he dropped his spoon ' I was talking to her this morning about me and you' Ian finally surrendered.  
  
'Jesus' Mickey huffed.  
  
'I didn’t say anything. She just. She just told me you wouldn’t hang out with me and her. You know at the same time.   
  
'The fuck does that mean?' Mickey said both eyebrows raised.  
  
'Like. She thinks you are just keeping me hidden away' Ian said and hung his head trying to hide the flush of embarrassment.   
  
Mickey stayed quiet for a second 'My sister’s a bitch.'  
  
'But you. You wouldn’t go out with her and me. Together' Ian asked not sure if he wanted the answer.  
  
‘I’ve done that a million times’  
  
‘But you know. Now that we are’ Ian didn’t really know what to refer to them as.  
  
‘Fucking?’ Mickey answered for him. It wasn’t the word Ian would have gone for, but he guessed it was true regardless.  
  
Ian nodded and watched while Mickey mulled it over. 'Don’t see why it should make a difference.'  
  
'So, like. Maybe you can come for lunch with us tomorrow?' Ian asked chewing on his lip.  
  
'Whatever.' Mickey said not making eye contact.   
  
Ian grabbed his almost empty plate and took it to the sink as a means of hiding his 10,000 watt smile. He turned around rubbing his eyes.  
  
‘Hey sleepy face, you ok?’ Mickey said pulling Ian across to him by the belt.  
  
‘Yeah sorry. Just tired.’  
  
‘You’re always saying sorry.’ Mickey said pulling Ian onto his lap and Ian swore his heart missed a beat. He smiled at the dark haired man and put and arm over his shoulder, settling into the position. ‘What you sorry for this time?’  
  
‘Just’ Ian started and pushed a loose hair on Mickey’s face out of his eyes. He would always try to get in as much ‘gay shit’ as he could while Mickey was feeling generous, ‘I kinda just, need to sleep.’ Ian frowned wishing he had the energy to stay up and knowing that Mickey will probably want him to leave if they are not gonna bang.  
  
‘That’s ok’ Mickey said pressing a soft kiss to Ian’s lips, ‘we better get you to bed then tough guy’ Mickey laughed. And before Ian could react he was being lifted up bridal style by Mickey and carried to the bedroom.  
  
‘The fuck Mickey’ he tried to shout but it came out as a laugh as he allowed the man to carry him into the bedroom and lay him on the bed.  
  
‘There you go princess’ Mickey said climbing in next to him.  
  
Ian turned onto his side to mimic Mickey’s position and looked into his eyes, he could feel the huge smile on his face.  
  
‘You don’t mind if we just go to sleep?’ Ian said yawning and Mickey pulled him in to a seated position and pulled off his shirt.  
  
‘Yes I fucking mind’ Mickey said rolling his eyes and moving to Ian’s pants ‘all I want you for is this killer body man’ he finished pulling the covers over Ian and settling in next to him. Mickey chuckled and shook his head then ran a hand over Ian’s face. ‘You take your meds or whatever?’ He asked and Ian nodded ‘good. Now go to sleep idiot.’  
  
‘You want me for something else?’ Ian said feeling his eyes close. He was trying his hardest to stay awake, loving this version of Mickey. Wanting to spend more time with him.  
  
‘Shut the fuck up Red.’ Mickey said and kissed his forehead, ‘you can make it up to me later.’  
  
‘Thanks’ Ian said smiling even though his eyes were closed. The last thing he heard before he fell to sleep was a final chuckle from Mickey and then he was out like a light.  
  
  
***  
  
Ian did make it up to Mickey the next morning. He gave it to him good and hard just how he liked it and then they stayed in bed for another hour just messing around and talking shit like they always did.  
  
‘So we doing this brunch shit with my sister?’ Mickey said throwing some boxers and a clean t shirt at Ian.  
  
‘Yeah. If you want’ Ian said pulling on the t shirt and smiling at how he would smell like Mickey all day.  
  
‘Fuck it. Got nothing better to do’ Mickey said doing up his pants. ‘Not bad’ He said looking Ian up and down.  
  
‘It’s a bit tight.’ Ian smiled pulling at the bottom of the shirt.  
  
‘Fuck you. It’s not my fault you’re a giant’ Mickey sneered moving towards him and running a hand seductively down Ian’s front.  
  
‘You do only want me for my body’ Ian said dragging him even closer. Mickey just scoffed and kissed him.  
  
‘You ready to go or what?’ Mickey rolled his eyes for the millionth time that morning.  
  
‘Yes sir’ Ian said kissing his lips quickly again and strutting out of the room.  
  
***  
  
They pulled into the car park at Mandy’s apartment block and Ian shot her a text.  
  
‘She said she’ll be down in a sec’ he told Mickey locking his phone.  
  
‘That means what? Twenty minutes?’  
  
‘Probably’ Ian laughed and sat back in his seat knowing Mandy was unreliable. He didn’t mention the fact that he had told her he would wait in the car with Mickey and how she had sent a reply saying  
  
\- Don’t think just cause he’s coming today it means he’s a changed man Ian –  
  
He didn’t need to think about that now. Mickey was here and Mandy didn’t know what he had with him. She didn’t get it. And she was wrong. This wasn’t everything but it also wasn't just fucking. Mickey had said that himself. Proved it.  
  
Ian stared at Mickey as he also leaned back in his seat, his eyes closed, and his knee gently bouncing to the music.  
  
‘The fuck you looking at Gallagher?’ Mickey said and Ian just smiled about being caught even when he thought he was being discreet.  
  
‘Just you’ Ian said past caring if he looked cool or not.  
  
Mickey looked fucking delicious in his all black ensemble, almost blending in to the plush leather interior of the ridiculously expensive car. There was something about Mickey that meant he could look at home anywhere. Even with all this money and fancy lifestyle he still made everything look fucking badass. It suited him. The money. But he also suited the torn up clothes he still sometimes wore and he looked great drinking shitty beer in a dive bar. The man was just fucking perfect.  
  
Mickey opened his eyes and looked to Ian with an eyebrow raised. ‘You like what you see huh?’ He said, seduction dripping out of his mouth. All Ian could do was exhale and bite his lip in response.  
  
Mickey’s eyes turned dark when he looked down to see how hard Ian was next to him.  
  
‘Fuck sake Ian’ Mickey said lunging forward in his seat and undoing Ian’s belt and pants in record time. By the time Ian had reacted and slotted his hand into Mickey’s hair his he felt his dick being engulfed by Mickey’s warm mouth and let out a rough moan.  
  
‘Fuck. Mickey’ he whimpered as the dark haired boy went to town on him. Mickey was relentless. He always sucked dick like his life depended on it. Ian could cum just thinking about the way Mickey moaned around his dick. The merciless bobbing and the fear of being caught by Mandy any second all added together was the hottest thing in the world and within five minutes Ian was a panting mess.  
  
‘Jesus. Yes. Fuck. I’m gonna cum!’ He moaned and within seconds he was releasing into Mickey’s throat. It was the first time Mickey had blown him to completion and he wasn’t sure whether he was going to pull away or not. But Mickey sucked him fucking dry and the image of it alone made him feel like he was gonna blow his load all over again.  
  
Mickey sat up and wiped his bottom lip with his thumb smiling devilishly at Ian.  
  
'You ok there?' Ian said doing up his jeans and looking at the bulge in Mickey’s pants.   
  
'Yeah I’m all-good. You owe me one now.' Mickey said with a wink.   
  
'True' Ian smiled.  
  
‘Yeah, and I'm not going to be able to go near you for a while around my sister. So it’ll be worth it later when we are alone.' He said kissing Ian deep again. ‘I like the tease.’  
  
Ian smiled but the words had cut like a knife. He knew Mickey wasn’t into PDA. But it hurt to have it made very clear how intentional it was. And that it wasn’t about not liking it, but about Mickey not wanting anyone to see the two of them being close.   
  
Mickey narrowed his eyes slightly and Ian made his smile wider, not wanted to give Mickey any hint of the storm that was going on in his head. He was probably over thinking things.  
  
Ian was pulled out of the daze by the sound of the door opening and Mandy climbing in.  
  
‘Sup ladies’ she said slamming the door closed and leaning forwards into the front of the car.  
  
‘Buckle up bitch’ Mickey snorted and drove out of the parking lot. ‘Where we going anyway?’  
  
‘Um. I was thinking Southside’ Ian said nervous about the response ‘Patsy’s pies. It’s pretty good. Nothing fancy. But it’s sort of homely food you know.’  
  
‘We know Patsy’s’ Mandy said from the back seat and Ian saw her shifting in her seat through the rear view mirror. He followed her eye line to Mickey in the front seat. He was clutching a bit tighter to the steering wheel and Ian could see he was fidgeting slightly.  
  
‘We don’t have to.’ He said trying to understand the sudden tension. He made eye contact with Mandy again in the back seat.  
  
‘Our mum used to take us there’ Mickey said and Ian watched as Mandy’s mouth dropped open in shock.  
  
‘Oh’ is all Ian could get out. Neither Mickey or Mandy had ever really mentioned their mum. Ian knew she was dead. Mandy had told him that much when they were at college. But apart form that it was a subject that was never breached.  
  
‘She used to let us get chocolate pancakes’ Mickey said and Ian watched him look in the mirror and knew he was smiling gently at Mandy. Ian turned to look out the window, trying not to interrupt this moment and really sure what to say. ‘They still make those?’ Mickey said and Ian turned to face him.  
  
‘Yeah. They do.’  
  
‘Perfect,’ Mickey said facing forwards again. Ian spent the rest of the journey occasionally sneaking glances at Mandy in the back seat. She didn’t take her eyes off Mickey the whole drive. Her eyebrows furrowed.  
  
They walked up to Patsy’s and Mandy looked up at the sign, ‘Looks different huh? Smaller maybe’ she said to Mickey before strolling in.  
  
‘What you waiting for tough guy?’ Mickey said slapping Ian on the butt and heading inside himself. Ian smiled at the public touch from Mickey, maybe no one had seen it, but he still did it in public. On the street. Where someone could have seen it. That meant something right?  
  
‘Hey you’ Fiona said pulling Ian into a hug as soon as he got inside ‘Mandy was just telling me you managed to drag her classy ass back to the Southside. Just for the afternoon.’  
  
‘Hey. I may be classy, but I could still cut a bitch’ Mandy said smiling at Fiona who just raised an eyebrow and laughed.  
  
Ian had known they would get along as soon as he met Mandy. He had invited her over in their first year at college for thanks giving and she sort of just fit in from the first moment. She even managed to survive the endless come-ons by Lip. Which was probably the first time he was ever rejected in his life. He had never given up trying with Mandy and she had never given in.  
  
‘This is Mickey. Mandy’s brother’ Ian said and laughed when Fiona pulled Mickey in for a hug.  
  
‘I feel like I know you the amount these two talk about you’ she said and Mickey just nodded.  
  
Fiona went back to chatting to Mandy and Mickey leant in close to Ian, ‘You didn’t say your sister works here’  
  
‘Yeah, that a problem?’ Ian said perplexed. Mickey just shook his head.  
  
‘Come on’ Fiona said ‘everyone’s here’  
  
Ian looked up to see a table at the back of the restaurant that was the cause of most of the noise in the room. Every Gallagher on the planet including Kev, Vee and their twins was sat around the table, laughing and/or throwing stuff at each other.  
  
‘I’ll sit you with these guys, yeah?’ Fiona nodded at Ian and he just smiled and shrugged. ‘Hey look who’s here guys’ Fiona said and they all looked up.  
  
A chorus of, ‘Ian’s’ and ‘Mandy’s’ erupted and suddenly Ian was being ushered to the table. A million people asking questions.  
  
‘This is Mickey, Mandy’s brother.’ Ian said over the noise and Kev stood up giving a startled Mickey a huge pat on the back  
  
‘How’s it going man? Park yourself here’ he said picking up Gemma or Amy, Ian still couldn’t tell, from the seat next to him for Mickey to sit on. Ian mouthed a sorry as he took his own seat next to Lip, Mandy the other side of him.  
  
Fiona took the extra orders, Mickey, Ian and Mandy all getting the chocolate chip pancakes, and headed off leaving the three with the Gallagher clan.  
  
This was Ian’s worst nightmare come true. Mostly because he knew how much Mickey would be hating this. He was not the kind of guy to meet the parents. But any boyfriend, not that Mickey was his boyfriend, but anyway, anyone in the past would have struggled in a situation like this. Being thrown straight into the Gallagher deep end.  
  
That’s what Ian had thought anyway. That’s what he presumed would happen. That Mickey would just sit quietly, nodding politely before sneaking out the first chance he got. But. That was in fact not the case at all.  
  
Ian had spent most of the breakfast watching as Mickey told a besotted Carl stories about his Southside days and how he used to threaten the kids at school with a shiv made out of sharpened toothbrush.  
  
‘That’s so fucking cool man’ Carl said, his eyes basically giant hearts as he stared at Mickey.  
  
‘I thought it was at the time. But trust me kid. Stay away from that shit ok?’  
  
‘But what about if someone owes me money?’ Carl said  
  
‘There are other ways to deal with that kinda situation.’ Mickey said smiling a shoving a forkful of pancakes in his mouth.  
  
‘Oh yeah?’ Carl said leaning so far forward in his chair Ian wouldn’t be surprised if he fell off it any second.  
  
‘Yeah kid. You get better at learning who to sell to.’  
  
‘What?’  
  
‘Money up front man. Business 101’ Mickey scoffed and Carl smiled wide.  
  
‘Or you know. Go to school to learn, not to sell whatever illegal shit you’re selling.’ Ian chimed in with a smirk but Carl just looked at Mickey and rolled his eyes.  
  
The breakfast was, well it was fucking perfect. Everyone was happy; Ian got a chance to catch up with his siblings without having to worry about looking after Mickey. If anything he was getting a little jealous at how much time they were getting with his Mickey.  
  
Ian was laughing at Lip’s persistent attempts to get Mandy to go on a date with him, when he heard a shout from the end of the table. He looked up to see that one of the twins had pulled a cup of hot coffee off the table and onto Kev’s lap. Vee was doing her best to take the girl, even though she already had the other twin, while Kev tried to remain calm to not scare his daughter any further. That’s when Ian witnessed what he could only call a miracle.  
  
‘Here’ Mickey said grabbing the little girl and sitting her on his lap ‘go get some cold water on that.’ He finished and Kev patted his back.  
  
‘Thanks man’ he said running to the bathroom.  
  
‘You okay with her?’ Vee said bouncing the other girl on her knee.  
  
‘Yeah I got it’ Mickey said turning the small girl around to look into her eyes. ‘It’s alright kid. It’s just a bit of coffee. Your dad will be fine.’  
  
Gemma/Amy rubbed at her eyes and nodded cutely at Mickey. ‘You like colouring’ Mickey said and a smiled appeared on the little girls face. ‘Come on then’ he said turning her back to the table and grabbing her crayons.  
  
Ian caught eyes with Fiona who was watching him. She raised an eyebrow and Ian knew his face must have been portraying him. There is no way that every emotion that was going through his body right now was not written all over his face. Plus. His big sister could read him like a book! She nodded and smiled as if she was giving some kind of approval before heading back into the kitchen.  
  
‘You might want to stop staring’ Mandy said. Ian turned to her and smiled.  
  
‘Sorry. It’s just. Fuck. He just keeps surprising. me.’  
  
‘Don’t get carried away man’ she said ‘he’s good with kids; sure, my brothers combined have got like a thousand. But that don’t mean he wants any of his own. Or that he doesn’t like giving them back.’  
  
‘I never said anything about him wanting kids.’  
  
‘You didn’t have to. Gay weddings and babies was radiating from your whole body while you were looking at him’ she laughed.  
  
‘Oh shut up’ he said sneaking another look at Mickey and smiling. Why did she have to bring that shit up? Now he kind of was thinking about that, how could he not when she just said it. No, he wasn't going to do this again. There was no rush. Him and Mickey were fine as they were.   
  
When Kev came from cleaning himself up he took his daughter back and Mickey looked up meeting Ian’s eye. He couldn’t help the eyebrow raise and sneaky smile on his face but Mickey just shook his head and flipped him off.  
  
‘You’re much nicer than those cousins of yours’ Kev said picking up the drawing of flowers that his daughter and Mickey had scribbled together.  
  
‘That’s not exactly hard’ Mickey laughed ‘what you running with fuck heads like that for?’ He asked and Kev turned to look at Vee.  
  
‘We needed a bit of money when the bar first opened. Made the mistake of getting a Milkovich loan.’  
  
‘Ahh’ Mickey said nodding.  
  
‘Yeah. Turns out the interest on those things is ten times what you borrowed’ Kev grimaced.  
  
‘You paid off what you borrowed?’ Mickey asked.  
  
‘Yeah, plus about the same again.’  
  
‘Don’t worry about the rest then.’ Mickey finished and took a sip of his water.   
  
‘Nah man. That’s not what I meant. I’m not looking for hand-outs’ Kev said raising his hands, clearly worried that Mickey thought he was trying to get something out of him.  
  
‘Who the fucks giving you anything?’ Mickey said punching Kev in the shoulder to relax him a little. ‘Anyway. Looks bad for the business having them using the family name for that shit. One word from my dad, they’ll be off your back.’  
  
‘Thanks man.’ Kev said.  
  
‘It’s fine.’ Mickey said pulling his signature anxious move and swiping a thumb across his bottom lip.  
  
Ian just watched from the other side of the table as Mickey settled in perfectly well with his family. He was polite, funny, charming but still had that Mickey ‘I don’t give a fuck' edge to him. He wondered how his heart hadn’t burst out of his chest and onto the goddamn breakfast table. He really needed to get some fucking chill.   
  
***  
  
Things were pretty great with Mickey for the next few weeks. They just kept getting closer, there was more cuddling on the sofa, late night phone calls, more texting and some occasional sexting. Well Ian had tried to sext but Mickey had eventually just called and said, ‘can you either stop telling me what you’re gonna do and get over here and do it or go the fuck to sleep Gallagher.’  
  
The most important change was the time they had spent hanging out with Mandy. The more time she could see them together the harder it was for her to deny their connection. Though Mickey was still distant from him when they hung out.  
  
Carl had been asking after Mickey constantly too. Every time Ian left the house he had a new question for Ian to ask Mickey.  
  
‘My brother is obsessed with you’ Ian had said one night over another of Mickey’s delicious creations.  
  
‘Yeah. Well your brother is fucked in the head.’ Mickey had responded.  
  
Later that night however he had put a bag by the door filled with stuff from his teenage years that he thought Carl might be into.  
  
‘That’s nice of you. He’s gonna love this.’ Ian said looking through the bag.  
  
‘Yeah well there is nothing sharp in there. And he’s not having any of my gun magazines. I don’t want him shooting up his fucking high school’ Mickey had said.  
  
***  
  
It was coming to the end of the month and Ian felt like they were making real progress. He could say he felt truly happy for the first time in a long time.

He was still doing his best to try and take things slowly. But now he was looking out for signs of Mickeys commitment to him, they seemed to be everywhere. He couldn’t help but think any day now Mickey would tell him he wanted to make things serious.  
  
‘Hey, what time shall I come over tomorrow?’ Ian asked as he cleaned the last dish from dinner.  
  
‘It’s the work gala tomorrow.’ Mickey said putting away the plate he just dried.  
  
‘Yeah I know. I thought we could catch a cab together’ Ian said shaking his hands dry. He turned to look at Mickey and was surprised to see him scratching at his neck and looking around awkwardly. ‘What?’ Ian said wondering why the atmosphere in the room had suddenly changed.  
  
‘That’s not gonna happen Ian.’  
  
‘What are you talking about?’ Ian said confused as fuck.   
  
‘We are not going together’ Mickey reiterated.   
  
‘Why?’  
  
‘Seriously? Jesus Christ.’ Mickey said throwing his hands up.  
  
‘What the fuck?' Ian said startled by the reaction. 'Sorry that I thought you might want to go together. Seeing as we do everything else together.’ Ian said losing his temper a little. What was Mickey’s problem?  
  
‘No Ian. We don’t do things like this together.’  
  
‘Things like this? What be seen in public together?' Ian mocked.   
  
‘Jesus. Why the fuck do you have to do this shit?’  
  
‘What? Expect to go to a party in the same fucking can as my’ Ian stopped before he said the word and looked down.  
  
‘You’re what? What do you think we are? Boyfriend and girlfriend?’ Mickey spat.  
  
‘Fuck you. Don’t give me that shit.’ Ian shot back.   
  
‘I’m not giving you shit.’ Mickey shook his head.   
  
‘You are. You can pretend all you want but I’m not just a fuck and you know it.’  
  
‘I never said you were, it’s just’  
  
‘Look. I get it. You're not ready for anything serious, but you got to give me something.’ Ian said thinking this really wasn't so much to ask.  
  
'Not work thing.'  
  
‘Why. You not allowed to date staff?’ Ian scoffed.  
  
'That. And although my brothers and dad know about me. They don’t want me to flaunt it; the deal is I keep it private.'   
  
'It’s not like we are gonna fuck right in front of them.' Ian said, his tone showing his frustration now.  
  
'It doesn’t work like that. They would never actually admit they know. Fuck I'm not even sure all of them do know. And even if they did, they would never accept it. They don’t just ‘need time to get fucking used to it’ Gallagher. I learned not to get caught. That’s all that happened.' Mickey said and he was pacing now. Ian wanted to reach out and grab him, tell him he could make it all better. But that wasn’t true.  
  
'We’ve got nothing to be ashamed of,' is all he could get out, feeling his eyes fill up.  
  
'What fucking world do you live in?' Mickey said looking at him sneering.  
The realisation that Mandy was right suddenly hit him like a truck. ' if there is no chance of us ever being together. Properly. What the fuck are we doing?' Ian said The magnitude of this situation was finally settling in. Mickey was no closer to being with him than he ever had been. Ian had just been kidding himself.  
  
Mickey just stared at him I don't fucking know Ok. that’s the fucking problem.' Mickey said, his voice softening just a little.  
  
'What does that mean?'  
  
'I’m meeting your family, getting fucking involved. Too fucking involved' Mickey said starting to pace again and Ian could almost feel the frustration radiating from him.  
  
'And that’s a problem?' Ian asked.   
  
'Of course it is Ian. I can’t give you what you want'  
  
'I'm not asking you to god damn marry me Mickey! Just give me something'   
  
'But it will never be enough. You'll want more. And you will always want more. And I’ll never be able to give it to you.' Mickey said looking down.  
  
'No. Mickey I won’t make you do anything'  
  
'Yes you will, because I keep giving in to you and then you have to just push it some more.'  
  
'I'm not pushing anything, why don’t you see how hard this is for me'  
  
'For you?' Mickey said, his voice dripping with shock.  
  
'Yes for me. I grew up south side too you know. Except I didn’t get rich and have a way out. I spent my whole goddamn life having to pretend to be someone else. You know how many guy’s dirty little secret I have been?'  
  
'I’m not keeping you a secret. I’m just not flaunting it around. And I told you from the fucking beginning that this could never be what you wanted.'  
  
'You’re right. You did.’ Ian said, he was filling with anger again. ‘I fucked up because of how you make me feel. I do that shit; push you because of how I feel about you. Not because I’m trying to fucking out you.’ Ian stared at Mickey who just kept looking at the ground. ‘I can’t feel this way about someone who doesn’t feel the same.' Ian said realising the words were true only as he said them.   
  
Mickey just scoffed which made Ian want to scream or punch him, he wasn't sure which.   
  
‘Don’t fucking scoff at that Mickey, if you felt even half of what I felt, you wouldn’t do this to me.’ Ian said before grabbing his jacket and going to the door.  
  
‘Fuck… Ian?’ Mickey said clearly not knowing what to do.   
  
'What?' Ian turned, his voice angry, but mostly still hoping for something. Still longing for Mickey to take it all back.   
  
'Just… don’t'  
  
'Don’t what?' Ian said. All Mickey had to do was ask him to stay. Tell him they could figure it out. give him a reason to think it was worth putting himself through all of this pain and torment. Because however much he wanted to deny it. Ian needed stability. Commitment. And he was realising very quickly, Mickey couldn't give him that.   
  
Mickey just stared at him before shaking his head and looking away again.  
  
‘That’s what I thought you might say,’ Ian said and stormed out of the apartment slamming the door behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chocolate pancakes at patsy's is a little homage to No more lonely nights! Hope you don't mind my shameless stealing ;)


	6. May

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian tries to get over Mickey. Dumb idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup! I know a couple of people thought that Mandy was a dick in the last chapter. hopefully you will see that she has good intentions now. :)

It had been a week since he walked out of Mickey’s apartment. He had heard nothing and he certainly didn’t go to the work gala the next day. He hadn’t even texted Mickey to say he wouldn’t be there. He was sort of hoping to get so kind of rise out of him because of it. But that had clearly not worked at all.

 

Most days he had written up a few texts. But he had always ended up deleting them and deciding against it. What could he possibly say? He was the one that had walked out. And why, because he got his answer, Mickey didn’t want him. Right? What he needed was Mickey to make the next move. What he needed was for Mickey to for once be the one to keep this thing between them going, without Ian having to do all of the work. Mickey had called it pushing. But he was fucking wrong, it was called making sense of your fucking relationship.

 

It would be so much fucking easier if Mickey had social media too, like everyone else on the planet. At least then if Mickey was posting gym selfies or tweeting random shit Ian could accept that he wasn’t bothered, or had moved on. But how the hell was Ian supposed to understand how Mickey was feeling or if Mickey was feeling anything if he couldn’t stalk him online!

 

He had tried to bring it up to Mandy a couple of times. She seemed shock and defeated when Ian had told her about the breakup. He knew she had spoken to Mickey about it, heard a number of hushed conversations over the phone. But he couldn’t make anything out of them, only ever hearing Mandy’s side and never being sure if it really was Mickey on the other end. But she was never going to tell him what her brother had said. Those two could be so fucking weird; the loyalty was like nothing he had ever seen. And he was a Gallagher. But it was a dangerous kind of loyalty, dark, twisted and painful.

 

Ian did his best not to really mention it to Mandy much after that, when he brought up her brothers name the past week it had always changed the atmosphere significantly. And she kept staring at him these days, chewing on her lip just the same as her brother. He could tell she was always on the brink of saying something, or wanting to say something.

 

He couldn’t tell at the moment if she hated him or loved him. He had never wanted this thing with Mickey to come between the two of them. He didn’t want things between them to change. He needed her to know that.

 

Ian put his phone back on the arm of the sofa as Mandy returned from the hallway with a pizza box. No texts from Mickey.

 

‘Let it go, Ian’ Mandy said taking a bite of her slice and looking at the phone that Ian was also staring at.

 

‘I wasn’t doing anything.’ He said defensively.

 

‘Yes you were’ she said ‘Do I not even get you to myself even after he dumped your ass?’ She said her voice dripping with bitterness.

 

‘Wow. Harsh Mandy’ He said taken a back and watched as she shook her head. ‘Can’t you at least admit he liked me a bit.’

 

‘He more than liked you Ian’ she said ‘I was always more worried for him than I was you.’

 

 ‘What the fuck?’

‘Seriously. You think when I say Mickey can’t give you what you want I mean that he doesn’t want to?’ She said and Ian just frowned, clearly she had been holding a lot of stuff in and she thought now was the time to let it all out ‘don’t be so fucking stupid Ian. It’s our Dad man. He just. He can’t have that. Not with Terry and our brothers and the company. Just everything ok. He just can’t. There’s shit you don’t understand’

‘So much for family support’ Ian said raising an accusatory eyebrow.

‘You don’t know a fucking thing Ian’ she snapped and Ian flinched, why the fuck did this strike such a nerve. ‘People like Mickey; they have to survive, growing up in my family.’ She scoffs and shakes her head ‘trust me. Things could be a lot worse. We all have to do things we don’t like just to survive Ian.’ She finished

Ian didn’t want to push it. He knew there were things in the Milkovich kids’ pasts that they would never reveal to him, things that had damaged them for good. He knew how much of a psycho Terry could be too. But it didn’t stop him from wondering why they had all just become so resigned to the fact that he controlled their lives. That he get to tell them what to do, who to be.

 ‘I’m Sorry’ he whispered out.

 

‘I want him to have that Ian. I want him to be happy, to have with you all the things you want with him. But I need him to be safe.’ A single tear rolled down her face. ‘I know that makes me sound like a bitch. I really do. But like I said. We just got to survive right now.’

 

Ian couldn’t help but notice the way Mandy had said ‘right now’ like there was an idea of a future in her heard where things were different. Ian didn’t know if that was just a dream of hers or something she planned on making happen. Regardless. Right now what she needed was comfort. So that’s what he gave her. 

 

***

 

Another two weeks passed and Ian had still heard nothing from Mickey. He hadn’t even seen him. It was liked he had fallen off the face of the earth. He was waiting in line for his coffee one Saturday when he heard a familiar voice.

 

‘You in the mood for something sweet?’ Dean said and Ian turned to look at his ex boyfriend. Ian couldn’t help but notice the slight look of fear on Dean’s face and see the way he was nervous to even look Ian in the eye.

 

‘Ian’ the barista called and handed over a sickly sweet drink with cream on top.

 

‘You got me’ Ian said smiling, hoping to relieve some of the tension.

 

‘Ian. I. Look I have been. At New Years. What I said’

 

‘It’s fine’ Ian said and Dean let out a defeated breath.

 

‘Can we? Do you have?’ Dean said pointing at an empty table.

 

‘Um.’ Ian checked his phone for the time, but he really had no plans. Fuck it he thought. He owed the guy a coffee after two years together right? ‘Sure’ Ian said and they headed to the empty table.

 

‘Look. Ian. There is literally nothing I can say that would be enough of a sorry for how I behaved after things ended between us.’

 

‘It’s the past Dean.’

 

‘No. Its not. It’s your future. I know things that people have said to you that have stuck with you. I don’t want my words to do that. I’m a prick and everything I said was a lie.’ Dean said clutching at his coffee cup.

 

‘Just the bipolar stuff?’ Ian said raising a brow.

 

‘Fuck’ Dean said dropping his head and looking at his coffee. Ian saw a version of Dean he hadn’t in a long time, the one he must have fallen in love with. He didn’t look so full of spite like the last times Ian had seen him. ‘All of it.’ Dean continued. The shit about you needing me. God’ Dean laughed without humour ‘I’m such a fucking prick.’

 

‘We all do things we regret’ Ian said taking a sip of his coffee.

 

‘I was just. Fuck. I was just in so much pain.’

 

‘Pain?’ Ian said lowering his cup.

 

‘When you ended things.’ Dean circled the top of his cup with a finger ‘god I thought it was going to kill me. The heartbreak’ he looked up to Ian who felt a twinge of guilt in his own chest. ‘Then the more time past the more I knew you didn’t want me. And that it was real. And the pain. Turned to anger. I just wanted you to feel just an ounce of what I was feeling.’

 

‘I’m sorry.’ Ian said. And he meant it.

 

‘Doesn’t excuse what I did. I just. Fuck. I loved you and I didn’t see it coming. And it just made me do and say all this stupid shit.’ Dean finished and wiped at his eyes. Though he hadn’t let a tear come out Ian knew he was on the verge of crying, but was clearly trying to keep face in front of Ian.

 

‘I forgive you’ Ian said, hoping to relive some of the pain he had caused the guy in front of him.

 

‘And I forgive you’ Dean said with a small smirk. Ian couldn’t help but remember how hot Dean was, in a preppy, classic sort of way. He was the guy you would totally want to take home to mom.

 

They sat for a second and let the whole thing wash over them. Ian looked up at Dean and was suddenly flooded with memories, good times, bad times, and their lives together. For the past few months he hadn’t remembered any of that old life, the settled life. It had been Mickey, texting Mickey, pining after Mickey. Fucking Mickey.  Things had been really easy with Dean. One date together and they were official. There was no question over moving in. No question over meeting family, sharing their lives together.

 

Ian felt a familiar feeling run through him as he watched the guy in front of him. He felt, sort of safe, like everything was fine and simple. The complete opposite of what he felt with Mickey. When it came to Mickey he felt. Everything. Everything was brighter, and stronger and clearer. But also at the same time everything was so much more painful, it was like being on a fucking rollercoaster or having your chair pulled out from underneath you all the time. To make someone with bipolar feel that way was an incredible feat!

 

Dean, well Dean just made everything seem easy. That was the thing that had drawn Ian to him. Everything seemed. Perfectly fine when he was around this guy.

 

‘So. What have you been up to?’ Ian said, knowing that this was quickly turning into a catch-up rather than closure. But in that moment, he couldn’t help himself. At least Dean answered back.

 

***

 

They left the coffee shop after over an hour of chatting. It was nice, calm, and comfortable. They had a good time, like they always used to. Making each other laugh, talking about normal stuff. Filling each other in on family stuff, work. Ian skirted over any mention of any hook-ups when Dean asked. Just told him he wasn’t really seeing anyone and noticed the way Dean smiled hopefully at that. He certainly didn’t bring up Mickey. Not that he was far from his mind the whole time. But Dean really didn’t need to know about that.

 

They parted ways with an awkward hug, ‘thanks, for forgiving me’ Dean said

 

‘Its forgotten.’ Ian smiled.

 

‘Love. Makes us do things. It’s fucking. Its fucking crazy man.’

 

Ian could only nod at the statement, not wanting to let on he really knew what Dean meant, but not cause he felt that way about him but because he knew, finally, that’s how he felt about Mickey. That’s why he couldn’t help but go back for more.

 

‘I guess it makes you less crazy if the person you love feels the same huh?’ Dean said with a shy smile before looking at Ian.

 

_I fucking hope so_  Ian thought to himself before he smiled apologetically at Dean again.

 

‘Dean, I’

 

‘You don’t have to say anything.’ Dean said ‘Bye Ian’ he finished and walked away.

 

***

 

When Ian got back he felt his phone buzz in his pocket, and however stupid it made him he stilled hoped it might be Mickey. It was not. He opened the text.

 

Dean –  _Hope this is still your number. Thanks for today. It really was great seeing you again. ;)_

 

Ian sent back a reply.  _Still me :)_ _good seeing you too._

 

Dean – _Well. Stop by the old place if you’re ever about. Was good to chat. Don’t be a stranger._

Ian read the text a number of times before deciding not to text back. He really did not want to go down that rabbit hole.

 

***

 

It was coming to the end of May and the weather was heating up. He was headed over to Mandy’s to hang out as they usually did. As he was rounding the corner he saw him. His arms thrown around Mandy, that fucking leather jacket. God the guy was fucking beautiful, his skin glowing, beautiful in the sunlight. He held back. Not ready to face Mickey yet, or interrupt this moment with his sister.

 

Mickey pulled out of the hug and didn’t even look at his sister as he walked to his car. She called something out which made Mickey stop, but Ian couldn’t hear the words. He looked back at her and nodded. Before getting into his car and driving away.

 

‘Everything Ok?’ Ian said as he walked up to Mandy’s apartment pulling her head away from the road her brother had just sped down.

 

‘Fine’ She said smiling and heading up inside ‘come on,’ she said turning back to him. ‘I want to get drunk tonight.’ She winked and Ian smiled back at her. Yeah he could do that.

 

***

 

They had been out for a few hours so both of them were pretty drunk. Mandy was leaning across the bar flirting with the bartender. Ian was smiling at his friend’s lame pick up lines, even thought they were definitely working on the guy she had targeted.  He was happy enjoying the buzz the beer was giving in through his whole body, though this should probably be his last one tonight.

 

‘We’re dancing’ Mandy suddenly said grabbing Ian and pulling him onto the dance floor.

 

Ian laughed along with his best friend as they moved in time to the music, happily letting out some of his old stripper moves. He was mid body roll when he caught eyes with someone at he bar who was watching him. Their blue eyes fixed on him. He stopped moving and looked back.

 

Mickey swiped a thumb across his lip and turned back to the bar.

 

‘What?' Mandy said following Ian's vision 'Oh fuck' she said and headed towards the bar. Ian followed, thinking it’s probably best not to but not being able to help himself. They were already shouting at each other when he got there. 

 

'The fuck was I suppose to know you'd be here. I just came with these assholes' Mickey motioned to his brothers who were playing pool the other side of the room. 

 

'Then leave. You're gonna ruin my night out.' 

 

'Fuck off. Like I wanna be here' Mickey spat.  

 

'Why are you still here then?' Ian chimed in not being able to help himself.  

 

Mickey just scoffed and turned away.

 

‘What? Not even gonna acknowledge me’ Ian sneered and Mandy grabbed his arm.

 

‘Just leave it Ian’ She said and he could hear the nerves in her voice.

 

‘No fucking way’ he said storming towards Mickey and turning him round

 

‘Get your fucking hands off me’ Mickey said low but venomous.

 

‘Oh look’ Ian said gesturing around them selves ‘we are in the same place together and the world hasn’t fucking ended.’

 

‘Your drunk’ Mickey says pushing him back gently.

 

‘Yeah. Cause that’s the only reason I might be mad at you right now’ Ian said but knowing it was definitely the beers that were making him act this crazy.

 

‘Just not here’ Mickey said looking around. Ian saw that the Milkovich brothers hadn’t even looked up.

 

The anger that rose in Ian chest at that moment was nothing like he had ever felt; it was like a beast was taking control of his body. He hated Mickey being ashamed of him like that, acting like nothing had happened between them.

 

‘Fuck you.’ Ian said throwing himself at Mickey but being pulled back by Mandy. He struggled to even wriggle free of Mandy’s tight grip, fucking Milkovich blood and super human strength.

  

‘I got this’ He heard Mickey mumble to Mandy ‘Get the fuck in here’ Mickey said grabbing Ian and pushing him into the storeroom. ‘Out’ Mickey said to the bar tender that was in there. The guy just nodded and left.

 

Ian let out a laugh ‘Let me guess. You know the Guy who owns this place.’

 

‘Sort of. Works for my dad’

 

‘Of course.’ Ian said laughing

 

‘The fucks the matter with you?’ Mickey said rubbing a hand across his forehead and looking at the door.

 

‘Oh I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that you’ Ian started but noticed how Mickey was still looking anywhere but him. He picked up a bottle and through it against the wall ‘wont even look at me!’ 

 

‘Jesus Ian’ Mickey said flinching.

 

‘Oh I’m sorry. Am I over reacting?’ Ian started to pace.

 

‘I’d fucking say so yes. What the hell was that shit out there?’ Mickey said much calmer now, clearly trying to diffuse Ian’s anger.

 

‘It was me being fucking mad at you’

 

‘And you wait til we are in front of everyone to do that?’ Mickey raised an eyebrow. Ian’s anger reared again.

 

‘Daddy’s not even here Mickey. What’s the problem? No one can fucking tell your little secret anyway.’

 

‘Shut the fuck up’ Mickey warned.

 

‘I’m not fucking scared of you Mickey’ Ian sneered squaring up to him.

 

‘Ey! What you acting like this for?’ Mickey said pushing him back yet again.

 

‘Because I.’ Ian felt a wave of pain run through him and his anger suddenly changed to something else. ‘I fucking miss you. And I don’t know what to do’ he said.

 

‘Ian. I’m sorry’ Mickey sighed.

 

‘Don’t say that. Don’t fucking say shit like that because you don’t mean it.’ Ian said feeling totally out of control now. It was hard for him to differentiate between normal human emotions and his bipolar sometimes, but there were no other signs for a bi polar episode. No. This was Mickey. Mickey made him feel fucking crazy. Because Mickey made him feel everything there was o feel.

 

‘I do.’ Mickey said but lowered his head.

 

‘No you don’t. You don’t give a shit’

 

‘Is that right? And how do you know that tough guy?’ Mickey finally seemed to lose his patience.

 

‘Because you let me walk away!’ Ian all but screamed and the room fell silent. All Ian could hear was the pounding of his own heart in his ears.

 

They stared at each other; it felt like a million words were being spoken, like there was a fucking magnet between them. The way he felt for Mickey was physical. Physical in the sense that he felt it through to his goddamn bones. It made his skin itch being this close and not touching him.

 

His body moved without any need for permission and he pinned Mickey to the wall, their breaths heavy between them, and their eyes not moving from each others.

 

‘After everything we had, we have. You just let me walk away.’ Ian whispered and then they were kissing

 

There was no, Ian kissed Mickey or Mickey kissed Ian, it was instinctive, they just moved together like it was the only thing that could possibly be. And Ian felt like he was on fire, it had only been a few weeks but he had forgotten the power of kissing Mickey. It was like he wanted to cry and laugh and scream all at the same time. Like he wanted to consume him, to be touching every last inch of him all at the same time. No matter how deep the kiss was it still wasn’t enough.

 

And Mickey was kissing back too, with just as much force, pulling at Ian’s shirt as if he wanted to bring him even closer, though that wasn’t even possible at this point.

 

‘I know you feel this too’ Ian said pulling back.

 

‘Ian’ Mickey whispered and it sounded like he was in pain.

 

‘Stop’ Ian breathed before going in again and getting as much of Mickey as he could

 

‘Fuck’ Mickey whispered pulling at Ian’s hair.

 

‘Mickey. I missed you so much.’ Ian said but suddenly felt himself being pushed backwards.

 

‘We cant’ Mickey said and Ian felt like he was suffocating all of a sudden.

 

‘No. Don’t say that. Please Mickey don’t say that.’ He moved to grab Mickey who just looked at him. ‘I don’t care about other people know. Who cares? Its. It can just be. We can figure it out later’ Ian dropped his head knowing how pathetic he sounded.

 

‘I’m not gonna disappoint you.’ Mickey shook his head.

 

‘I don’t care though.’ Ian grabbed onto Mickey’s shirt.

 

‘I’m making the decision not you red.’ He said pushing him away, not as gently this time. ‘You and me. This is done’

 

‘Mickey. Please’ Ian said past the point of caring bout looking like a little bitch. He stared into his eyes and Mickey looked as if he was about to speak again when Mandy walked in.

 

‘Everything ok?’ She said biting her lip.

 

‘Everything is fine’ Mickey said moving to leave the room but Ian grabbed him.

 

‘Mickey. You can’t just’ he said and they stared at each other again, Mickey biting his lip.

 

‘Mickey’ Mandy said, sounding like a little girl for the first time in her life. Mickey turned to look at her and she stared back with a face that looked just as pained as Mickey’s ‘just tell me if this is what you want. We will figure something out’ She said.

 

Mickey shook his head and moved away from Ian, ‘Stop fucking dreaming Mandy’

 

‘If we just make the others listen, maybe we can just’ she said moving towards her brother.

 

‘Mandy you need to fucking stop with this’ he said and all she could do was put a hand to his face.

 

‘You don’t want to be free Mickey?’ Ian said, not meaning to break the moment but needing to know the answer.

 

‘This isn’t about me Ian. You think this is as simple as coming the fuck out huh? You don’t have a clue’ Mickey said not looking towards him.

 

‘Ok well instead of everyone keep telling me I don’t have a clue. Why doesn’t someone tell me something for fuck sake’ Ian said looking at the siblings, feeling the strength of their bond from the other side of the room.

 

‘It doesn’t matter. You don’t need to know.’ Mickey murmured.

 

‘Mick. If you just tell him’ Mandy started.

 

‘I said stop’ Mickey barked and Mandy actually flinched at the sound. ‘I just cant’ he said almost a whisper and Mandy reached out to touch Mickey again but he flinched away. He looked up to meet Ian’s eyes. ‘We’re done. Ok. Just the way it fucking is’ he said before storming out.

 

Ian just stood there. Wondering if he could survive this pain again. How had he let himself get in so deep? It didn’t cut this deep when he broke up with Dean and he had been with the guy for two years. Built a life together. But it had been nothing like the pain he was feeling now watching Mickey leave.

 

‘I can talk to him.’ Mandy said moving closer to Ian. ‘Just let me talk to him.’

 

‘No’ Ian sighed. ‘I should have just listened to you from the start’ Ian said turning to leave.

 

‘Where are you going?’ she said, her voice breaking slightly.

 

He turned to look back at her, making a decision in his head, and fuck if he knew it was the right one or not, but it seemed like his only option right now.

 

‘Its better to wanted by someone right?’ He said finally before leaving. He didn’t look at her face before walking out the door. He didn’t even have to think; he just let his feet carry him to the place he had walked a thousand times before. A place he had called home once. He didn’t let himself think too much. Not when he got on the L-train. Not when he walked the familiar street. Not when he got in the lift and certainly not when he knocked on the door. He took a deep breath and resigned himself to his fate as the door opened.

 

‘You came?’ the person in front of him said and he looked up to see Dean standing in the doorway of the apartment they used to share. It was hard to miss the look of utter adoration in the man’s eyes.

 

‘I did’ Ian said before stepping forward into his apartment.

 

It’s better to be wanted right? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH Ian! he doesn't know how to be alone. All the stuff that going on with Mickey will become clear in the next chapter :)


	7. June

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian needs answers. Ian needs to learn to be alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not disappeared. I have just had to focus on my actual job for a bit *sigh* trying to get in writing when I can. 
> 
> This chapter is quite emotional again but we learn quite a lot about Mickey. It's sort of 'up' from here. I promise. (Spoiler - Gallavich are always endgame!)

Ian sat on the plush sofa in his old apartment listening to Dean rattle around in the kitchen. He checked his phone. It has just turned 12am. Fuck. He hit rubbed at his forehead, you can't just turn up at someone's house like this! At fucking midnight.   
  
Dean came out with two cups of tea and sat on the armchair facing Ian. Ian took a sip of the drink. He didn't really want it. He didn't know what the hell he was doing.   
  
'What happened?' Dean said.   
  
'No…nothing' Ian stuttered trying to stop his knee bouncing and relax his shoulders.   
  
'Ian' Dean said sternly looking at him. Dean sort of acted like a dad sometimes. A kind caring dad who you were worried about disappointing. It made Ian feel like someone was looking out for him. It's why he had stayed so long. But also part of the reason he had left. He was never gonna learn to deal with his shit if he was being babied. He had enough people wrapping him up in cotton wool.   
  
'Ian' Dean said, pushing for an answer.   
  
'It's not. I'm not manic or. It's not about the' Ian spluttered looking all around the room knowing that he was doing a very good job of making it look like an episode.   
He stared at Dean who looked deep into his eyes.   
  
'I know' he said and nodded. And Ian did finally relax slightly. 'What is it then?'   
  
'I don't know. I. You said pop by if I'm around and'   
  
'What's his name?' Dean cut in   
  
'What?'   
  
'His name? The one whose got you all crazy' Dean rose an eyebrow.   
  
Ian just stared back for a while then breathed out and looked down.

 

‘Do you love him?’ Dean asked, his face emotionless but his voice calm. All Ian could do was nod his head. Dean smiled.

 

‘I shouldn’t fucking be here’ Ian said leaning forward to put his coffee cup down.

 

‘Wait’ Dean said ‘its late, you’re upset and have clearly been drinking’ Dean stood up. ‘Sleep on the couch ok.’

 

‘Dean I’ Ian started but Dean held up a hand and smiled at him.

 

‘I knew, the other day when we got coffee, that there was someone, that you finally felt it. The way you couldn’t feel about me.’

‘I’m sorry.’ Ian muttered and Dean just smiled before heading to the other room to get some blankets.

 

When he came back and handed over the neat pile Ian wanted to speak, tried to think of something to say.

 

‘Can I just ask one thing’ Dean said so Ian didn’t have to think of something to fill the silence. ‘Why did you come here? To me?’

 

Ian took in a deep breath and made the decision that however bullshit it was he needed to just be honest in this moment. ‘He. He doesn’t want me back. You always did.’

 

Ian looked up to see Dean staring down at him with pity, no, maybe sadness in his eyes.

 

‘It can make you feel crazy huh. Loving someone who doesn’t love you?’ Dean said

 

‘Yeah. Yeah it can.’ Ian replied and Dean smiled one last time before leaving Ian to make up the sofa.

 

***

The next morning went his body clock woke him he sat up and clicked his back, passing out on a sofa never really counted as good sleep. He checked his phone. Fuck. It was later that he thought. He needed to get home. He saw there was a text from Dean, he took a deep breath before opening it.

 

**From Dean**

_I didn’t want to wake you. Thought it was probably easier if I wasn’t there when you got up so I headed to work early. It might be none of my business, but maybe try and be alone for a while. Figure out what you need. Because at least we both know now for sure it’s not me. Goodbye Ian._

Ian put his phone down and breathed out a sigh. He felt like the biggest jerk on the fucking planet. That goodbye from Dean really did seem like the end of things too. Maybe Dean was right. Maybe he should try being alone. He couldn’t remember the last time he did that.

 

He pulled his clothes on and headed out as fast as he could. Not wanting to be in his old apartment any longer, knowing that he had out stayed his welcoming and really feeling it even though Dean wasn’t even there.

 

Maybe it was time for a fresh start!

 

***

  
Another week passed in a painful haze. He had ignored a few texts from Mandy. Not really sure what he was supposed to say to her. He would have to talk about what happened with Mickey. Have to think about Mickey. And he was sure as hell not ready to do that yet.

 

More weeks passed and he decided to use his time to start running more often, he even started looking into buying an apartment with the money he had saved. He wanted to get his life in order for himself. By himself.   
  
He also had been focussing on spending time with the people he already had in his life, asking Fiona to go out running with him, looking after Liam, going shopping with Debbie. He'd found a pretty good drinking partner in Carl when Lip wasn’t around.   
  
It was a pretty nice day and Ian had nothing better to do with his weekends these days. So he thought he might treat himself to a drink. Just one. He shot a text to Carl who text back to let him know he was at the alibi.

 

When Ian finally made to the bar he had pretty much grown up in he was met by a sight that he was in no way prepared for. Carl was in the back booth. With Mickey. And they were laughing. And what was that Carl had in his hand. A fucking book?

 

Ian charged towards the two guys without a second thought, with no idea what he was going to say. Carl looked up to see him storming over.

 

‘Ian. What’s up?’ Carl said with an innocent smile.

 

‘The hell is this?’ Ian asked looking between to two of them. He got a certain satisfaction in the way Mickey looked ready to curl in on himself.

 

‘Uh. College stuff’ Carl started. ‘I was sorta thinking, maybe I would apply. Mick was helping’ he finished patting a very awkward looking Mickey on the shoulder.

 

‘Sorry.’ Ian threw his hands up in confusion. ‘why you asking him?’ Ian gestured to Mickey without looking at him and Carl raised an eyebrow.

 

‘Um’ Carl started before looking around awkwardly and then giving Mickey a pleading look.

 

‘Look. I bailed the kid out of some stuff a while back.’ Mickey said, speaking for the first time since Ian barged in.

 

‘oh. I’m glad you’re mixing my brother up in your kinda shit’ Ian spat.

 

‘It weren’t like that.’

 

‘I got arrested’ Carl chimed in and Ian’s mouth fell open. How did he not know this? ‘I got arrested for some stupid shit and I didn’t want to let you guys down. So I called Mickey.’

 

Ian just stood there flabbergasted by the admission.

 

‘He got me a lawyer. Paid my bail. Told me I need to get my shit together’ Carl continued with a smile and looked to Mickey with pure adoration.  
  
‘What the fuck Mickey?’ Ian shouted making everyone in the vicinity jump.   
  
‘Ian. Calm down.’ Mickey stood up.  
  
'Are you serious?' Ian said and watched as Mickey just looked around the room. 'All of a sudden you give a shit huh? Can go out of your way for people?'   
  
'I didn't go out of my way. I just'   
  
‘Why.' Ian cut in 'Why the fuck did you do all of that?’ Ian says gesturing to Carl.  
  
‘He needed my help. I was just.’ Mickey stuttered.

‘Oh. He needed your help. Why the fuck do you even care?’

 

‘What happened?’ Carl cut in, ‘you guys not friends anymore?’

 

‘No’ Ian laughed ‘we are not fucking _friends_ anymore’

 

‘Why?’ Carl said looking between the two of them.

 

Ian watched as Mickey thumbed at his nose, running a tongue along his bottom lip and shook his head. However mad he was at Mickey, he wasn’t going to out him, not here. Not in the alibi of all places.

 

‘Look, maybe you and Mickey should take this argument outside’ Kev said winking at both of them. ‘Come on Carl, ill show you how to open a beer bottle with your teeth’ Kev finished. For someone who had seemingly only a few brain cells, Kev could be pretty astute.

 

Ian spun on his heel, knowing how dramatic it must have looked and stormed towards the door, hoping Mickey had followed. When he got outside he turned ready to question Mickey more on what the fuck he was playing at when Mickey walked straight passed him and towards his car.

 

‘You’re just gonna walk away?’ Ian said. Mickey stopped where he was, his hand on the car door, he looked up at Ian. ‘Why do you keep doing this to me? Why cant you just’ Ian started but felt the sting at the back of his eyes and knew he couldn’t finish the question.

 

‘Get in’ Mickey said

 

‘What?’

 

‘The car. Gallagher.’ Mickey cut in holding Ian’s gaze until he made his way to the over.

  
***  
  
The car ride was silent. Mickey's eyes on the road and Ian looking out of his window. A million thoughts ran through his head. But he almost felt too numb to speak up. He could sense Mickey's tension next to him. It was radiating out of him in waves, his jaw clenched tight, his knuckles white with the sheer force he was grabbing into the steering wheel with.   
  
After 20 minutes or so Mickey pulled into a residential street. Expensive looking terrace houses lined one side, the sort Ian had always dreamed of living in. Settling down in. The swanky bachelor apartments that Dean and Mickey had were nice for now, but he'd upgrade to one of these bad boys any day. The other side of the street was a gated park. This was for the rich families of Chicago. The mums who yoga'd while the dads headed further into the city to do some kind of stock or banking jobs.  
  
'Where are we?'   
  
'North side' Mickey said.   
  
'I figured that much out myself' Ian huffed.   
  
'Just. Just fucking wait' Mickey held out a cigarette case he pulled from the door of the car.   
  
Ian raised an eyebrow, 'I quit. So did you remember'   
  
'Trust me. You're gonna need this' Mickey said pulling one out for himself. Ian huffed and took the stick.   
  
'Fine.'   
  
They sat for another five minuets smoking until Mickey finally threw the butt out of the window and looked at Ian.   
  
He didn't speak, just turned his head and Ian followed his gaze.   
  
Across the street, coming out of one of the houses, was a tall woman, long chocolate brown hair wearing a tight black dress, expensive heels and a red jacket. She looked like a supermodel.   
  
'Who's that?' Ian said   
  
'Svetlana' Mickey didn't offer anything else just kept his eyes fixed on the door. The woman was clearly talking to someone inside the house, ushering them out.   
  
A small child appeared at the top of the steps and she bent down to do up his jacket. He had pale skin, jet black hair and must have been 7 or 8.   
  
Ian turned to Mickey who didn't take his eyes off of the two. 'That's my son' he said and Ian looked back, watching the young boy, clearly a Milkovich, and his beautiful mother descend the stairs and head off down the street.   
  
Ian didn't know where to start. It was all so confusing, how did he not know about Mickey's son? Did anyone else know? Who was the woman? Just, what the fuck?   
  
Ian didn't have to ask anything it turned out, because Mickey spoke up.   
  
'Yevgeny. His names Yevgeny. Some Russian name his mom picked.' Mickey sniffed and looked back out the window. 'She was a hooker. One of the dad my girls and his guys used to fuck around with.' He reached down and pulled out another cigarette. 'My uh. My dad caught me with some guy. Some fucking guy we had done some business with.' He took a long drag in his cigarette. 'Beat the living shit out of both of us. Pistol whipped me.' Mickey said, his mouth in a hard line.   
  
Ian didn't know what he was supposed to say. He figured the best thing to do was maybe just let Mickey talk.   
  
'He made her fuck the faggot out of me'   
  
'Mickey.' Is all Ian could say but Mickey just shook his head.   
  
'He ruined the guys fucking life after. Lost him his job. Made him regret ever looking fucking twice at me that's for sure' Mickey scoffed.   
  
'He's 7' Mickey said and Ian just nodded. 'Goes to a good school. His ma's not hooking anymore. They got a nice place'   
  
'Do you ever get to. You know. See him'   
  
Mickey nodded 'couple of nights in the week, every other weekend' he said running a thumb along his lower lip. 'Didn't at first. I didn't fucking want him. Didn't want to be near her. But then I pulled my head outta my ass and realised she had just about as much fucking choice in that moment as I did. And it ain't the kids fault'   
  
'It was none of your faults' Ian whispered and Mickey swallowed. Ian could tell Mickey wanted to believe that, needed to believe that. But that deep down he blamed himself, blamed who he was and what he was for this.   
  
'He's pure you know. And Safe. I can't do anything to change that. Not if it's gonna hurt him' Mickey continued.  
  
Ian just nodded.    
  
'The deal' Mickey scratched at his eyebrow. 'The deal with my dad. I keep quiet about being a faggot, he makes sure Svet and Yev are looked after.'   
  
'But. You. Your job. Can't you.' Ian stuttered out, not knowing how to deal with all of the information.   
  
'Job I got ain't for fucking faggots' Mickey spat 'dads words not mine'   
  
'He can't. Can he just fire you because'   
  
'He can do what he wants Ian' Mickey snapped, but Ian knew it wasn't at him 'you think I wouldn't have fucking got out if I could?'   
  
Ian just nodded his head because he didn't know what else to do.   
  
'He's the best thing to ever happen to me.' Mickey whispered dropping his head. 'It's. It's not about you. It was never about not wanting you' Mickey said and looked out of the window away from him.   
  
Ian felt his breath hitch and a burning in the back of his eyes. But he held back. This was not about him. This couldn't be about him.   
  
'Thank you for telling me' Ian said and Mickey just nodded. After a few more minutes of silence Mickey sat up slightly and turned on the engine. He drove out of the street neither of the boys talking again until they got back to Mickey's apartment.   
  
He didn't know how he knew, but he just knew Mickey didn't want to be alone right now. So he didn't question anything as they made there way up to Mickey's apartment. Kept quiet as they climbed the stairs and when Mickey opened the door to his apartment and walked in knowing that Ian was going to following him. Once inside Mickey turned to look at Ian, he looked confused and upset, but mostly like a man who had suffered pain, who had to give up everything he was because the world was an unfair fucking place.  
  
'Can we just?' Mickey said looking to Ian from across the living room, biting at his bottom lip.   
  
Ian moved to him and held his face to his. 'Yeah. Yeah we can' Ian said and brought their lips together. 

 

It was different to all the other times. The kisses were gentle and tender, they run their hands over each others bodies so delicately, each one trying to soothe the other, to show how they felt with actions and touches. When Ian peeled off Mickey’s shirt it was slow and he barely moved his lips form him.

 

They kissed and just took in each other’s bodies for what seemed like hours. And then Ian was slowing pushing in to Mickey, gently, but trying to get across so much meaning. He rocked into him slowly, each of them capturing the breaths and gentle moans of the other into their mouths.

 

They held on to each other tight, Ian didn’t know if he had ever felt so much in one moment, and whatever was going to happen next didn’t matter. This, right here right now, with Mickey was all that mattered.

 

There were three words on his lips the whole time, three words that threatened to spill out as he felt the warm sensation flow through his body. But he kept them at bay. Because Mickey knew how he felt, maybe even felt the same. But saying it out loud didn’t help, didn’t change anything. So he stayed silent, hoping he could just show it instead.

  
***   
  
It hurt, more than he thought was possible. The bitter sweet idea that this had been the last time. Knowing that even as he laid here with Mickey, hours later, both of them radiating with the same feeling of want. Of need for each other. That this would be the last time.   
  
Maybe it would be easier now. Maybe Ian could accept they couldn't be together like this now he knew the reason why. He hoped the burning rage of injustice that was growing in the pit of his stomach would burn out.   
  
'Can we still. Be friends' Ian let out. Clinging to any kind of a relationship with Mickey.   
  
Mickey lifted his head and looked at Ian. 

 

‘I told you I cant get close.’

 

‘I know, but we can just be friends maybe?’ Ian whispered.

 

‘You’re not listening.’ Mickey ran a hand through his hair, ‘With other guys I don’t get close because of the shit with my dad.’

 

‘Right. The pact’

 

‘I don’t expect you to understand that shit Ok. But will you let me fucking finish?’ Mickey stared at Ian who nodded. ‘It’s easy to fuck around with other guys, to not get attached.’

 

‘But you let yourself get close to me. Doesn’t that show you something?’ Ian interjected.

 

‘That’s my fucking point here Gallagher. It’s you Ian. You’re not just anyone. I tried to keep you away for, how long since I first met you, what, three years? But I knew if I even had a chance with you I’d lose control.’

 

‘You tried to stay away from me?’ Ian said, placing a hand on Mickey’s cheek.

 

‘Just fucking look at you man.’ Mickey ran a hand across Ian’s stomach ‘fuck did I want you to be an asshole. But you weren’t were you. You had to be a good fucking guy too.’

 

‘You said I was Alien looking mother fucker the first time we met’ Ian said with a smile.

 

‘I did what I needed to do. Cause honestly. I knew I was fucked from the second I saw you Red.’ Mickey let out a sigh and rested his head on Ian’s shoulder and gently kissing the skin there.

 

Ian didn’t move. He just laid there trying to process the words he had just heard. Mickey pushed him away because he liked him? Mickey had always liked him? It was everything Ian had wanted to hear. But it meant nothing, because Mickey was saying that’s why they couldn’t work. Because he knew with Ian that would be it, everything. And Mickey couldn’t have that, didn’t think he deserved that.

 

Ian felt a surge of rage run through his body when he thought about what Terry had done to the man in front of him. But as Ian looked at Mickey, he remembered the little boy with his dad’s blue eyes. Remembered why it had to be this way, for that kid. Mickey was choosing his son over himself, something that seemed like a foreign concepts to them. It just made he love Mickey even more.

 

‘Mick. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.’ Ian said and just looked into Mickey’s eyes trying to convey how much he really meant it, how that even after knowing that he couldn’t, he was willing to fight for him. ‘I didn’t know you could feel like this in real life.’ Ian continued.

 

‘Don’t say shit like that.’ Mickey looked away from him.

 

‘Why, because you don’t think its true?’ Ian raised his eyebrows for an answer and Mickey looked back at him. If either could be sure of one thing in this moment, it was that they felt a fuck load more for each other than they ever thought possible. ‘Look. You’re not the only one with fucking baggage. And whether you think it makes me sound like a pussy or not, you cant just walk away from something like this. Like what I feel for you.’ Ian said and Mickey opened his eyes wide in surprise.

 

‘Ian we can’t’

 

‘I know we cant be together. Not like this. But we don’t have to cut each other out of our lives. So. Fucking agreement with your dad or not, this shit is too big to just throw the fuck away. I know this seems quick, how I feel about you, but’

 

‘Quick?’ Mickey interjected ‘Gallagher, I’ve felt like this for three fucking years.’ He said smiling up at Ian. And Ian suddenly thought back to how he used to see Mickey, that feeling in his stomach every time he saw him, which he presumed was loathing but now thought might have been something much bigger than that. The way he let every little thing Mickey said get to him never, understanding why the fuck he cared so much about what the blue eyed boy thought of him. How, for good or bad he had always felt drawn to the man in front of him.

 

‘Yeah Mick’ Ian said putting a hand to Mickey’s face ‘I think I have too.’ Ian only caught a glimpse of surprise in Mickey eyes before he was closing his and capturing Mickey’s soft lips in his own.

 

Mickey eventually pulled away and rubbed at his eyes. ‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry that we can’t do this. Sorry that I let it get this far’

 

‘Stop. I’m not sorry. I’m happy I got to know what everyone was talking about.’ Ian said moving in for another kiss.

 

‘Ian.’ Mickey sighed pulling away a little.

 

‘Look’ Ian started not letting Mickey move away from him, ‘I know you have to put Yevgeny first. But he gets you for the rest of his life. Can’t I just get you for tonight?’ Ian said and stared into Mickey’s eyes that seemed to be giving off a million emotions before finally settling on one. Mickey nodded his head gently and moved forward to put his hands in Ian’s hair and kiss him deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. I'm in love with Mickey.

**Author's Note:**

> People who take the time to read and comment on any of my fics are absolutely amazing. it makes it all worth and keep the fire alive. So glad to be part of this community!


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